Mwezi Wadziko Lonse Wachisudzulo Chokhudza Ana
Sabata yatha, ndinali nditakhala pansi pa hema pamsonkhano womaliza wa mwana wanga wazaka 18 wosambira mu ligi yake yachilimwe. Mwana wanga wamwamuna anayamba kusambira ali ndi zaka 11 ndipo aka kanali komaliza kuti banja lake lisangalale kumuona akupikisana. Wondijowina pansi pa hema anali mwamuna wanga wakale, Bryan; mkazi wake, Kelly; mlongo wake; komanso mphwake wa Kelly ndi mphwake; Amayi a Bryan, Terry (apongozi anga akale); mwamuna wanga panopa, Scott; ndi mwana wamwamuna wazaka 11 yemwe ndimagawana naye, Lucas. Monga timakonda kunena, izi zinali "zosangalatsa zabanja zosagwira ntchito" bwino kwambiri! Zosangalatsa ... mwana wanga wazaka XNUMX amatchulanso Terry kuti "Agogo a Terry," chifukwa adataya agogo ake onse awiri ndipo Terry ali wokondwa kudzaza.
Chisudzulo chikhoza kukhala chovuta komanso chosokoneza maganizo kwa onse okhudzidwa, makamaka pamene ana ali mbali ya equation. Komabe, ine ndi Bryan timanyadira momwe tathandizira kuika patsogolo ubwino ndi chimwemwe cha ana athu mwa kukhazikitsa ubale wolimba wa kholo limodzi. M'malo mwake, izi ndizofunikira kuti ana azikhala osangalala, ndikukhulupirira. Kulera limodzi si kwa ofooka! Pamafunika mgwirizano, kulankhulana kogwira mtima, ndi kudzipereka poika zofunika za ana anu patsogolo, mosasamala kanthu za mmene mungamve ponena za kutha kwa ukwati wanu. Nawa njira zina zomwe tagwiritsa ntchito komanso malangizo othandiza kuti tithandizire kulera ana athu pambuyo pa chisudzulo chathu:
- Yang'anani Kulankhulana Momasuka ndi Mwachilungamo: Ndikhulupirira kuti kulankhulana kwabwino kumapanga maziko a chipambano polera ana. Kambiranani momasuka nkhani zofunika kwambiri zokhudza ana anu, monga maphunziro, chithandizo chamankhwala, ndi ntchito zina zakunja. Muzilankhula momasuka ndiponso mwaulemu, pokumbukira kuti nkhani zanu n’zothandiza kwambiri ana anu. Gwiritsani ntchito njira zosiyanasiyana zoyankhulirana monga kukambirana pamasom'pamaso, kuyimba foni, maimelo, kapenanso mapulogalamu olera ana kuti mutsimikizire kuti zidziwitso zikuyenda bwino komanso momveka bwino. Chinthu chimodzi chimene ine ndi Bryan tinakhazikitsa kumayambiriro chinali spreadsheet pomwe tinkafufuza ndalama zonse zokhudzana ndi ana, kuti tithe kuonetsetsa kuti "titha" bwino kumapeto kwa mwezi uliwonse.
- Konzani Mapulani Olera Ana: Dongosolo lokonzedwa bwino lolera limodzi limatha kumveketsa bwino komanso kukhazikika kwa makolo ndi ana. Gwirani ntchito limodzi kuti mupange dongosolo lathunthu lomwe limafotokoza ndandanda, maudindo, ndi njira zopangira zisankho. Fotokozerani mbali zofunika, monga ndandanda yochezera alendo, tchuthi, tchuthi, ndi kugawikana kwa maudindo azachuma. Khalani wololera komanso womasuka kukonzanso dongosololo momwe zosowa za ana anu zimasinthira pakapita nthawi. Zimenezi zakhala zoona makamaka pamene ana athu analowa m’zaka zaunyamata. Mtsikana wanga wazaka 24 anandiuza posachedwapa kuti amayamikira kwambiri kuti ine ndi bambo ake sitinkamuvutitsa pokangana pamaso pake kapena kumukakamiza kuti azikhala panyumba ina kuposa ina. Ngakhale tinkachita malonda ndi maholide akuluakulu, masiku obadwa amakondweretsedwa pamodzi ndipo ngakhale tsopano, akamapita ku Denver kuchokera kunyumba kwawo ku Chicago, banja lonse limasonkhana pamodzi kuti adye chakudya chamadzulo.
- Limbikitsani Kusasinthika ndi Chizoloŵezi: Ana amakula bwino akakhazikika, choncho kusasinthasintha m'mabanja onse ndikofunika kwambiri. Yesetsani kukhala ndi machitidwe, malamulo, ndi zoyembekeza zofanana m'nyumba zonse ziwiri, kuonetsetsa kuti ana anu akumva otetezeka ndi kumvetsetsa zomwe akuyenera kuchita. Izi sizophweka nthawi zonse. Ine ndi Bryan timaleredwa mosiyanasiyana ndipo tikadakhala okwatirana kapena ayi. Panali chochitika kuchiyambi kwa chisudzulo chathu pamene mwana wanga wamkazi anafuna kutenga buluzi. Ndinamuuza kuti, “Ayi! Sindichita zokwawa zamtundu uliwonse! Mwamsanga anati, “Abambo angandipezere buluzi.” Ndinatenga foni ndipo ine ndi Bryan tinakambirana zopezera mwana wathu wamkazi chokwawa ndipo tonse tinaganiza kuti yankho linali "ayi". Nthawi yomweyo adazindikira kuti ine ndi abambo ake timalankhula… pafupipafupi. Palibe amene akanatha kuthawa "adatero, adati" m'nyumba mwathu!
- Lemekezani Malire a Wina ndi Mnzake: Kulemekeza malire a wina ndi mnzake ndikofunikira kuti muthe kulera bwino ana anu. Zindikirani kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale angakhale ndi njira zolerera zosiyana, ndipo pewani kudzudzula kapena kupeputsa zosankha zawo. Limbikitsani ana anu kukulitsa maunansi abwino ndi makolo onse aŵiri, kukulitsa malo amene amadzimva kukhala osungika ndi okondedwa mosasamala kanthu za nyumba imene ali.
- Peŵani Ana Kuti Asamasemphane: Ndikofunika kuteteza ana anu ku mikangano kapena mikangano iliyonse yomwe ingabuke pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu wakale. Pewani kukambirana nkhani zalamulo, zandalama, kapena mikangano yanu pamaso pa ana anu. Pangani malo abwino oti ana anu afotokoze zakukhosi kwawo, ndi kuwatsimikizira kuti malingaliro awo ali abwino ndi kuti iwo alibe thayo la chisudzulo. Apanso, izi sizophweka nthawi zonse. Makamaka kumayambiriro kwa chisudzulo, mungakhale ndi malingaliro amphamvu, oipa ponena za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kupeza njira zosonyezera malingaliro amenewo, koma ndinamva mwamphamvu kuti sindingathe “kuululira” ana anga ponena za atate wawo, popeza amawakonda kwambiri ndi kudzizindikira iwo eni mwa iwo. Kumudzudzula, ndinamva ngati ndikudzudzula mbali ina yomwe iwo ali.
- Limbikitsani Network Yothandizira: Kulera ana kukhoza kukhala kovuta m'maganizo, kotero ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa maukonde othandizira. Funsani chitsogozo kuchokera kwa achibale, abwenzi, kapena alangizi omwe angakupatseni uphungu ndi maganizo opanda tsankho. Kulowa m'magulu othandizira kapena kupita ku maphunziro olerera ana opangidwira makolo osudzulana kungaperekenso chidziwitso chofunikira komanso chikhalidwe cha anthu. Kumayambiriro kwa chisudzulo changa, ndinamaliza kuphunzitsa kalasi ya makolo kwa iwo omwe akusudzulana ku Adams County. Ndikukumbukira chinthu chimodzi kuchokera kumaphunziro omwe adandikhalira ... "Mudzakhala banja nthawi zonse, ngakhale ziziwoneka mosiyana."
- Phunzirani Kudzisamalira: Kumbukirani kudzisamalira. Kutha kwa banja ndi kulera ana kukhoza kukhala kolemetsa m'thupi ndi m'maganizo, choncho ndikofunika kuika patsogolo kudzisamalira. Chitani zinthu zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino, monga kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuchita zosangalatsa, kucheza ndi anzanu, kapena kupeza chithandizo ngati chikufunika. Podzisamalira nokha, mudzakhala okonzeka bwino kusamalira ana anu panthawi ya kusinthaku.
Kulera ana pambuyo pa chisudzulo kwakhala njira yosalekeza pakati pa ine ndi wakale wanga kwa zaka 16 zapitazi zomwe zafuna kuyesetsa, kunyengerera, ndi kudzipereka kwa ife tonse, komanso okwatirana athu atsopano. Poika patsogolo kulankhulana momasuka, ulemu, kusasinthasintha, ndi ubwino wa ana anu, inunso mukhoza kumanga ubale wopambana wolera ana. Kumbukirani kuti chofunika kwambiri ndicho kusiya kusiyana maganizo, kuganizira zofuna za ana anu, ndi kugwirira ntchito limodzi kupanga malo ochirikiza ndi achikondi amene amawalola kuchita bwino. Mawu amene ndinamva m’kalasi ya makolo aja kalekale, “mudzakhala banja nthawi zonse, ngakhale zidzaoneka mosiyana” sangakhale oona masiku ano. Ine ndi Bryan takwanitsa kuthana ndi mavuto ambiri m'moyo limodzi ndi ana athu. Sizinakhale bwino nthawi zonse, koma timanyadira momwe tafika, ndipo ndikukhulupirira kuti zathandiza ana athu kuti atuluke kumbali ina amphamvu komanso olimba.