Chisoni ndi Umoyo Wam'maganizo
Bambo a mwana wanga anamwalira mosayembekezereka zaka zinayi zapitazo; anali ndi zaka 33 ndipo adapezeka kuti ali ndi vuto la post-traumatic stress disorder, nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa chaka chimodzi chisanachitike. Pa nthawi ya imfa yake mwana wanga anali ndi zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi, ndipo ine ndi amene ndinamusweka mtima ndi nkhaniyi pamene wanga unali kusweka powona ululu wake.
Chifukwa cha imfa sichinadziwike kwa miyezi ingapo. Chiwerengero cha mauthenga ndi mafunso omwe ndinalandira kuchokera kwa anthu osawadziwa ponena za imfa yake sizinawerengedwe. Ambiri ankaganiza kuti wadzipha. Munthu m'modzi adandiuza kuti akufunadi kudziwa chomwe chidamuphera chifukwa chidzawatsekereza. Panthawiyi ndinali nditakwiya ndipo ndinamuuza kuti kutsekedwa kwawo kunalibe kanthu kwa ine chifukwa ndinali ndi mwana wamwamuna woti ndimulere ndekha yemwe sindidzatseka. Ndinakwiyira aliyense poganiza kuti imfa yawo inali yaikulu kuposa ya mwana wanga. Kodi iwo anali ndani kuganiza kuti anali ndi malo m’moyo wa Jim pamene ambiri a iwo anali asanalankhule naye kwa zaka zambiri! Ndinakwiya.
M’mutu mwanga, imfa yake inali itatichitikira ndipo palibe amene akanatha kumvetsa chisoni chathu. Kupatula, iwo angathe. Mabanja ankhondo akale komanso omwe adataya okondedwa awo ku zifukwa zosadziwika amadziwa zomwe ndimakumana nazo. M'malo mwathu, mabanja ndi abwenzi a omenyera nkhondo omwe adatumizidwa. Asilikali otumizidwa amakumana ndi zoopsa zambiri akatumizidwa kumadera ankhondo. Jim anali ku Afghanistan kwa zaka zinayi.
Alan Bernhardt (2009) mu Rising to the Challenge of Treating OEF/OIF Veterans with Co-occurring PTSD and Substance Abuse, Smith College Studies In Social Work, apeza kuti malinga ndi kafukufuku wina (Hoge et al., 2004), ochuluka kwambiri. Asitikali ankhondo ndi am'madzi omwe akutumikira ku Iraq ndi Afghanistan adakumana ndi zoopsa zankhondo. Mwachitsanzo, 95% ya Asitikali a Marines ndi 89% a Asitikali ankhondo omwe amagwira ntchito ku Iraq adawukiridwa kapena kumenyedwa, ndipo 58% ya asitikali aku Afghanistan adakumana ndi izi. Maperesenti apamwamba a magulu atatuwa adakumananso ndi zida zankhondo, rocket, kapena moto wamatope (92%, 86%, ndi 84%, motsatana), adawona mitembo kapena mabwinja a anthu (94%, 95%, ndi 39%, motsatana), kapena amadziwa wina wovulala kwambiri kapena kuphedwa (87%, 86%, ndi 43%, motsatira). Jim akuphatikizidwa m'ziwerengerozi, ngakhale kuti anali kufunafuna chithandizo miyezi ingapo asanamwalire mwina zinali mochedwa kwambiri.
Pambuyo pa mwambo wamalirowo utatha fumbi lake, ndipo pambuyo pa kutsutsa kwakukulu, mwana wanga wamwamuna ndi ine tinasamukira kukakhala ndi makolo anga. Kwa chaka choyamba, ulendowu unakhala chida chathu chachikulu cholankhulirana. Mwana wanga wamwamuna ali pampando wakumbuyo ndi tsitsi lake lakumbuyo ndi maso atsopano amatsegula mtima wake ndikuwonetsa zakukhosi kwake. Ndimaona za abambo ake kudzera m'maso awo komanso momwe amafotokozera zakukhosi kwawo, komanso kumwetulira kwapambali. James ankanena zakukhosi kwake pakati pa kuchulukana kwa magalimoto pamsewu wa Interstate 270. Ndinkagwira chiwongolero changa n'kusiya misozi.
Anthu ambiri amandiuza kuti ndimutengere ku uphungu, kuti imfa yadzidzidzi ya bambo ake okalamba idzakhala chinthu chomwe mwana angavutike nacho. Anzathu akale a usilikali anatipempha kuti tilowe m’magulu olimbikitsa anthu kuti abwerere m’dziko lonselo. Ndinkangofuna kuti ndipange belu la kusukulu la 8:45 am ndikupita kuntchito. Ndinkafuna kukhala bwinobwino mmene ndingathere. Kwa ife, zabwinobwino zinali kupita kusukulu ndi ntchito tsiku lililonse komanso zosangalatsa Loweruka ndi Lamlungu. Ndinamusunga James kusukulu yake yomweyi; anali kusukulu ya mkaka pa nthawi ya imfa ya abambo ake ndipo sindinafune kusintha zambiri. Tinali titasamukira kale m'nyumba ina ndipo kunali kovuta kwambiri kwa iye. James mwadzidzidzi anali ndi chidwi osati ine ndekha komanso, agogo ake ndi azakhali ake.
Banja langa ndi anzanga anakhala gulu lalikulu lothandizira. Ndinkayembekezera kuti mayi anga azindilamulira nthawi iliyonse ndikakhumudwa kapena ndikafuna kupuma. Masiku ovuta kwambiri anali pamene mwana wanga wakhalidwe labwino amakalipira chakudya kapena nthawi yosamba. Masiku ena amadzuka m'mawa akulira chifukwa cha maloto okhudza abambo ake. Masiku amenewo ndinkavala nkhope yanga yolimba mtima, kuchoka kuntchito ndi kusukulu n’kumacheza naye komanso kumutonthoza. Tsiku lina, ndinadzitsekera m’chipinda changa ndikulira kuposa nthaŵi ina iliyonse m’moyo wanga. Ndiyeno, panali masiku oti sindikanatha kudzuka pabedi chifukwa nkhawa yanga inandiuza kuti ngati ndituluka pakhomo ndikhoza kufa ndiyeno mwana wanga adzakhala ndi makolo awiri omwe anamwalira. Chofunda cholemera cha kupsinjika mtima chinaphimba thupi langa ndipo kulemera kwa udindowo kunandikweza ine nthawi yomweyo. Ndili ndi tiyi wotentha m'manja amayi anga ananditulutsa pabedi, ndipo ndinadziwa kuti inali nthawi yoti ndifike kwa katswiri ndikuyamba kuchiritsa chisoni.
Ndine wokondwa kugwira ntchito m'malo achifundo, otetezeka momwe ndingathe kufotokozera anzanga za moyo wanga. Tsiku lina pa chakudya chamasana ndi kuphunzira ntchito, tinayenda mozungulira tebulo ndi kugawana zambiri zokumana nazo m'moyo. Nditagawana zanga, anthu angapo adandiyandikira pambuyo pake ndikundiuza kuti ndilumikizane ndi Pulogalamu Yothandizira Ogwira Ntchito. Pulogalamuyi inali yowunikira yomwe ndimafunikira kuti ndidutse. Iwo anapatsa ine ndi mwana wanga magawo ochiritsira omwe amatithandiza kupanga zida zolankhulirana kuti zitithandize kuthana ndi chisoni komanso kusamalira thanzi lathu lamalingaliro.
Ngati inu, mnzanu, kapena wokondedwa mukukumana ndi mavuto amisala, fikirani, lankhulani. Nthawi zonse pamakhala wina wofunitsitsa kukuthandizani.