Mabanja Opeza Ndi Chinthu Choyenera Kukondwerera

Ndikukula sindinaganizirepo za mawu akuti “banja la ana opeza.” Nthaŵi zambiri ubwana wanga ndinakhala m’banja la makolo aŵiri. Koma moyo umasinthana ife sitikuwona kubwera ndipo mawu oti “banja la ana opeza” adatha kukhala ndi chiyambukiro chachikulu pa moyo wanga, popeza ndidakumana nawo m'malingaliro awiri osiyana.

Chinthu choyamba chimene ndinakumana nacho ndi banja la ana opeza chinandichitikira pa nkhani ya ana, pamene ndinapeza mayi wopeza. Panopa ndili ndi mayi wondibereka amene ndimamukonda kwambiri ndipo ndimamuona kuti ndi munthu womuuza zakukhosi. Koma zimenezi sizinatanthauze kuti udindo wa amayi anga opeza m’moyo wanga unali wa munthu wakunja kapena kuti sindinkafunikira kukhala mayi wina. Ubale wanga ndi mayi anga ondipeza unali wapadera komanso watanthauzo, zomwe ndikuganiza kuti anthu ena samaziyembekezera kapena kuzimvetsa.

Pamene ndinakumana koyamba ndi mayi anga ondipeza amtsogolo, Julie, ndinali ndi zaka za m’ma 20 kotero kuti mkwiyo wamba kapena mkwiyo sizinagwire ntchito kwenikweni. Ndinali nditatha kale kufuna kuti makolo anga abwererane ndipo sizinali ngati amandilanga kapena kukhala nane. Zinali zachilendo kwa bambo anga kukhala ndi chibwenzi, koma ndinasangalala nawo. Chotero, pamene abambo anga anandifunsira zaka zingapo pambuyo pake, ndinali kuvomereza ndipo ndinakondwera. Sindinkayembekezera kuti mayi anga ondipeza angalowerere mumtima mwanga ngakhale kuti ndinayamba chibwenzi.

Ndili ndi zaka za m’ma 20, ndinaganiza zovomera ntchito ku Denver. Panthawiyi, Julie anali atapezeka ndi khansa ndipo inkafalikira. Inali siteji 4. Iye ndi bambo anga ankakhala ku Evergreen kotero ndinadziwa kuti kusamukaku kukanandipatsa nthawi yocheza naye ndikuthandizira pamene ndingathe. Ndinakhala nawo ku Evergreen kwa kanthawi pamene ndinkafunafuna nyumba. Julie sankakhulupirira kwenikweni zilembo za "sitepe". Ananditenga mofanana ndi ana ake atatu owabala. Akandidziŵitsa, ankanena kuti “uyu ndi mwana wathu Sarah.” Anandiuza kuti amandikonda nthawi iliyonse ndikamuona kapena kulankhula naye, ndipo amandisamalira monga momwe mayi angachitire. Julie ataona mpendero wa siketi yanga ikubwera itavundukuka anasoka. Pamene alamu yanga ya ntchito inalira 2 koloko m'mawa, ndinadzuka nditamva phokoso la chowerengera cha khofi chomwe chikuwonjezedwa kuti chipange khofi watsopano. Ndinabwera kunyumba masana ku chakudya chamasana ofunda kale patebulo. Sindinapemphe chilichonse cha zinthu izi, ndinali wokhoza kudzisamalira ndekha. Anachita zimenezi chifukwa ankandikonda.

Ndinatha zaka zingapo za tchuthi, chakudya chamadzulo, maulendo, ndi zochitika zapadera ndi Julie khansa yake isanayambe kudwala. Tsiku lina m’chilimwe, ndinakhala m’chipinda chosungira odwala ndi a m’banja lake tikumamuwona akuchoka. Pamene ambiri a m’banja lake ankapita ku nkhomaliro, ndinamugwira dzanja pamene ankavutika n’kumuuza kuti ndimamukonda pamene anapuma komaliza. Sindikadakhalanso momwemo nditamwalira, ndipo sindidzaiwala momwe adakhudzira moyo wanga. Amandikonda m'njira yomwe sanafunikire kutero, yomwe samayembekezera. Ndipo m’njira zina, zimenezo zinatanthauza zambiri kuposa chikondi chimene kholo lobereka limapereka.

Patangotha ​​chaka chimodzi, ndinayamba chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wina yemwe anadzakhala mwamuna wanga. Ine ndinapeza, pa ma burgers ndi mowa, kuti iye anasudzulidwa ndipo anali tate wa anyamata aang'ono awiri. Cholinga changa choyamba chinali kukayikira ngati ndingathe kuchita zimenezo. Kenako ndinakumbukira mmene lingaliro la mayi wopeza ndi banja lopeza lingakhalire lodabwitsa. Ndinalingalira za Julie ndi mmene anandilandira m’banja lake, moyo wake, ndi mtima wake. Ndidadziwa kuti ndimamukonda bamboyu, ngakhale ndimamudziwa kwa maola ochepa, ndipo ndidadziwa kuti ndi woyenera kutsata izi. Nditakumana ndi ana ake aamuna, nawonso anandilowetsa m’mtima m’njira imene sindinkayembekezera.

Mbali ina ya banja la ana opeza inali yovuta kwambiri. Choyamba, ana ameneŵa anali aang’ono kwambiri kwa ine pamene ndinakhala mwana wopeza. Koma zinalinso zovuta kukhala nawo komanso kudziwa zoyenera kuchita. Osanenanso, mliri wa COVID-19 udabwera nditangosamukira, ndiye ndimagwira ntchito kunyumba ndipo amapita kusukulu kunyumba, ndipo palibe aliyense wa ife amene amapita kwina kulikonse…. Poyamba, sindinkafuna kupitirira, koma sindinkafuna kuti azingoyenda paliponse. Sindinafune kuchita nawo zinthu zomwe sizinali zanga, koma sindinkafunanso kuoneka ngati sindisamala. Ndinkafuna kuziika patsogolo ndi ubale wathu. Ndikanama ndikanati kulibe zowawa zakukula. Zinanditengera kanthawi kuti ndipeze malo anga, udindo wanga, komanso chitonthozo changa. Koma tsopano ndine wokondwa kunena kuti ine ndi ana anga opeza timakondana ndipo timaganizirana kwambiri. Ndikuganiza kuti amandilemekezanso.

M'mbiri yakale, mabuku a nthano sanakhale okoma mtima kwa mayi wopeza; simuyenera kuyang'ana kwina kuposa Disney. Tsiku lina ndinangoona "Nkhani Zowopsa zaku America” ya mutu wakuti “Facelift” m’mene mayi wopeza, yemwe anali pafupi ndi mwana wawo wamkazi wopeza, anayamba kusintha “zoipa” ndi kunena kuti “si mwana wanga weniweni! Nkhaniyo inatha pamene mwana wamkaziyo anapeza kuti “mayi ake enieni” amamusamalira kuposa mmene amamuchitira. Ndikamaona zinthu zimenezi ndimapukusa mutu chifukwa sindimakhulupirira kuti anthu a m’dzikoli amamvetsa tanthauzo la banja lopeza. Nditabweretsa mayi anga ondipeza pocheza nawo, nthawi zambiri ndimakumana ndi ndemanga za "kodi umamuda?" kapena “ndi wamsinkhu wofanana ndi iweyo?” Ndikukumbukira chaka china ndinanena kwa mnzanga wakale wa kuntchito kuti Tsiku la Amayi ndi tchuthi lalikulu kwa ine chifukwa ndimakondwerera akazi atatu - agogo anga aakazi, amayi anga, ndi amayi anga opeza. Yankho linali "bwanji mungagulire mphatso kwa amayi anu opeza?" Julie atamwalira, ndinauza ntchito yanga yakale kuti ndifunika kupuma ndipo ndinakhumudwa pamene HR anandiyankha kuti, “O, ndi mayi ako opeza? Ndiye umangopeza masiku awiri." Nthaŵi zina tsopano, ndi ana anga opeza, ndimaziwona monga momwe anthu ena samamvetsetsa chikhumbo changa chowachitira monga momwe ndingachitire ndi banja langa kapena kumvetsetsa chikondi ndi kudzipereka kwanga kwa iwo. Chomwe mutu wa "masitepe" sukutanthauza ndi kulumikizana kozama, kofunikira komwe mungakhale nako ndi kholo kapena mwana m'moyo wanu, zomwe siziri zamoyo. Timamvetsetsa m'mabanja olera, koma mwanjira ina osati m'mabanja opeza.

Pamene tikukondwerera Tsiku la Dziko Lonse la Makolo Opeza, ndikufuna kunena kuti ntchito zanga m’mabanja opeza zandisintha m’njira zambiri zabwino, zandilola kuona mmene chikondi chingakhalire chopanda malire ndiponso mmene mungasamalire munthu amene mwina sanali. pamenepo kuyambira pachiyambi koma wayima pambali panu chimodzimodzi. Zomwe ndimafuna ndikhala ngati mayi wopeza wabwino ngati Julie. Ndimaona kuti sindingathe kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi iye, koma ndimayesetsa tsiku lililonse kupangitsa ana anga opeza kuti amve chikondi chomwe ndimamva kuchokera kwa iye. Ndikufuna amvetsetse kuti ndinawasankha, ndipo ndidzapitiriza kuwasankha monga banja langa kwa moyo wanga wonse. Ndimakhudzidwa ndi moyo wawo watsiku ndi tsiku. Ine, pamodzi ndi makolo awo owabala, timawakonzera chakudya chamadzulo cha kusukulu, kuwasiya m’maŵa, kuwakumbatira ndi kuwapsompsona, ndi kuwakonda kwambiri. Amadziwa kuti akhoza kubwera kwa ine kuti ndiwathandize ndi mawondo awo ophwanyika, pamene akusowa chitonthozo, komanso pamene akufuna kuti wina awone chinachake chodabwitsa chomwe achita. Ndimafuna kuti adziwe mmene amandikondera komanso kuti anditsegulira mitima yawo ndi zimene sindingathe kuziona mopepuka. Akathamangira kwa ine kudzandiuza kuti amandikonda kapena kundipempha kuti ndiwagone usiku, sindingathe koma kuganiza kuti ndili ndi mwayi m'moyo kuti ndikhale nawo ngati ana anga opeza. Ndabwera kudzadziŵitsa aliyense amene alibe chidziŵitso ndi banja lopeza, kuti iwonso ndi mabanja enieni ndipo chikondi chimene chili mwa iwo n’champhamvu chimodzimodzi. Ndipo ndikuyembekeza kuti nthawi ikupita, gulu lathu likhoza kukhala bwino pang'ono powamanga, m'malo mowachepetsera, ndi kulimbikitsa kukula kwawo ndi chikondi chowonjezera cha "bonasi" chomwe amatibweretsera.