Kupanga Banja Lopeza
Ndiyeno panali asanu.
Kumayambiriro kwa February, ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinali ndi mwana. Chifukwa chomwe chimatipanga kukhala banja la anthu asanu ndikuti ali ndi ana ena aamuna awiri, ana anga opeza, omwe ali ndi zaka 7 ndi 9. Ndi ana anga a bonasi, amene amandipangitsa kumva ngati kholo. Tili ndi mwayi kukhala ndi anyamata atatu tsopano; ndife banja lopeza lodzala ndi chikondi.
Ndinalemba kale za zokumana nazo zanga pokhala m’banja lopeza, monga mwana wopeza komanso mayi wopeza, koma zinthu zinasintha kwambiri ndi kuwonjezera kwa Lucas pa February 4, 2023. Ana anga opeza tsopano ali ndi mchimwene wanga. Zosintha zasintha, koma chikondi changa kwa ana anga opeza sichinasinthe. Ndinkada nkhawa kuti angaganize kuti ndimakonda mwana watsopanoyo chifukwa ndi "wanga," koma kwenikweni, ndimamva pafupi kwambiri ndi ana anga opeza kuposa momwe ndinachitira Lucas asanabadwe. Tsopano talumikizidwa pamodzi ndi magazi kudzera mwa Lucas ndipo ndife abanja ambiri kuposa kale. Ndipo moona mtima, iwo nthawizonse adzakhala makanda oyambirira mu mtima mwanga. Anandipanga kukhala “mayi,” chifukwa ndinawasamalira monga mayi kwa zaka zambiri Lucas asanakhalepo, ndipo anandithandiza kumvetsetsa chikondi chapakati pa wosamalira mwana ndi mwana. Adzakhalanso ndi malo apadera mu mtima mwanga chifukwa tinasankha kukondana wina ndi mnzake komanso kukhala pa ubwenzi wolimba. Sizinali chabe chinachake chimene iwo anabadwiramo. Zinali zofunikira kwa ine kuti adziwe kuti ngakhale kuti mwana watsopano amafuna chisamaliro chochuluka, sizikutanthauza kuti ndi wosafunika kwenikweni kwa ine. Mwana wanga wamkulu wopeza, Zach, amathera nthawi akufufuza zochitika zazikulu za mwana ndi chitukuko; amada nkhaŵa mchimwene wake wakhanda akalira ndi kuyesa kupeza chifukwa chimene wakwiyira; amakonda kusankha zovala zomwe Lucas amavala m'mawa ndikumusewera nyimbo zoyimbira pa YouTube kuti ayese kuti agone. Mwana wanga wopeza, Kyle, poyamba analibe chidwi ndi mchimwene wake watsopano. Zimakhala zovuta kuti mwadzidzidzi mukhale mwana wapakati mukamakonda chidwi ndikuzolowera kukhala khanda. Koma m’miyezi ingapo yapitayo, wayamba kuchita chidwi, akumapempha kukankhira stroller yake, ndi kunena mmene khandalo lilili lokongola. Iye akumwetulira m’chipinda chimodzi ndi mchimwene wake wakhanda akabwera nafe ku maphunziro a Kyle a jiu-jitsu kapena maphunziro osambira. Nditha kumvetsetsa kuti nthawi zonse pamakhala malingaliro osiyanasiyana okhudzana ndi ana pamene mwana wakhanda alowa pachithunzipa, kotero ndimatha kumvetsetsa ngati palibe aliyense wa iwo amene amamva kuti ali ndi chiyembekezo chokhala naye pafupi, koma ndizodabwitsa kuwawona akusangalala kwambiri kukhala naye ngati gawo limodzi. banja.
Ndi mmene banja langa lopeza limaonekera. Ndine wokhudzidwa kwambiri ndi moyo wa ana anga opeza; Ndimawasamalira monga mmene kholo limachitira. Nthaŵi zonse ndakhala ndikutsutsana ndi mwamuna wanga ponena za kugawana naye udindo wa makolo akakhala kunyumba kwathu (omwe ndi 50 peresenti ya nthawiyo). Ndimawabweretsa kusukulu, kupanga nkhomaliro, kuwagoneka usiku, ndipo ngakhale kuwalanga pamene kuli kofunikira – pamodzi ndi mwamuna wanga, amene ali tate wosaneneka wa anyamata onse atatu ndi wotanganidwa kwambiri kuwasamalira onse. Zinali zofunika kwa ine kuti tonse tikhale banja. Ndi njira yokhayo yomwe ndingaganizire kukhala mayi wopeza. Koma ndaphunzira kuti pali njira zambiri zokhalira mayi wopeza komanso banja lopeza, ndipo palibe yolakwika. Zonse zimatengera zomwe zimakuthandizani paulendo wanu, ndipo zitha kukhala zovuta kuyenda. Zimatenga nthawi kuti mudziwe udindo wanu monga kholo lopeza komanso m'banja lopeza. Ziwerengero zomwe ndamva kuti zimatenga zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri kuti banja likhale logwirizana. Ndili ndi chaka chachitatu, ndikupitilira zinayi pakali pano, koma zinthu zakhala zomasuka, zosavuta komanso zosangalala.
PALI zinthu ZINTHU zambiri zoti muwerenge zokhudza mabanja opeza. Pamene ndinayamba kukhala ndi mwamuna wanga tsopano ndi ana aamuna opeza, ndinali kutsimikiza momwe ndingagwirizane ndi zamphamvu, ndipo ndinawerenga nkhani zambiri ndi mabulogu. Ndinalowanso m'magulu angapo a Facebook kwa amayi opeza kumene anthu adagawana nawo nkhani zomwe akukumana nazo ndikufunsa malangizo. Ndinazindikira kuti pali dziko lonse lachidule chokhudzana ndi mabanja opeza. Mwachitsanzo:
- BM = biological mom (bio mom)
- SK, SS, SD = mwana wopeza, mwana wopeza, mwana wopeza
- DH = wokondedwa mwamuna
- EOWE = mgwirizano uliwonse wakumapeto kwa sabata
Chinthu chinanso chachikulu chimene ndinachiwona chikutchulidwa chinali NACHO, kutanthauza "anacho, vuto la nacho," kapena "nacho circus, nacho nyani." Amayi opeza pa intaneti nthawi zambiri amalankhula za "NACHOing," kutanthauza kupeŵa udindo wa makolo ndi ana awo opeza. Izi zingawoneke ngati zinthu zambiri ndipo pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe anthu amasankhira njira iyi, yomwe ndi yosiyana kwambiri ndi yomwe ndasankha. Kwa ena, ana awo opeza amakhala achichepere kapena okulirapo. Kwa ena, n’chifukwa chakuti mayi wowabereka safuna kuti mayi wopeza wa ana ake “awoloke.” Kwa ena, n’chifukwa chakuti ana awo opeza sakuwalandira monga makolo. Ndinali ndi mwayi chifukwa palibe chimodzi mwa zonsezi chomwe chinandikhudza ine, koma ndizomveka kuti amayi ena opeza amafunika kutenga nawo mbali pa moyo wa ana awo opeza omwe ndi otsalira. Ndipo zimawagwirira ntchito. Ena amakhala ngati abwenzi apamtima kapena azakhali abwino kwa ana awo opeza. Amachita nawo zinthu ndi kuwakonda koma sayesa kuwalera kapena kuwalanga ngakhale pang’ono, amasiya zimenezo kwa makolo awo owabala.
Ngakhale kuti ndimavomereza kuti njira zonse zolerera ana opeza n’zabwino, ndinapeza kuti si onse amene ali ndi maganizo omasuka pa Intaneti. Ndikalemba pabwalo lofotokoza za m'nyumba mwanga ndikuyang'ana upangiri, ndidalandira chiweruzo kwa mwamuna wanga ndi ine chifukwa chokhudzidwa ndi ana anga opeza! Ndinafunsidwa kuti n’chifukwa chiyani ndinkachitira ana anga opeza zinthu ngati mwamuna wanga analipo komanso chifukwa chake anali kupanga ndimasamalira ana osatenga. Ndilibe chiweruzo kwa ena omwe amasankha kukhala osagwira ntchito ngati izi zithandiza banja lawo ndikuwathandiza kukhala omasuka kapena osangalala. Koma, ndikuyembekeza ndipo ndikuyembekeza zomwezo kuchokera kwa ena muzosankha zanga kukhala ndi manja ambiri.
Langizo langa kwa aliyense amene ali munjira yophatikiza banja ndikuti achite zomwe zimakuchitirani zabwino. Palibe njira yabwino ndi yolakwika yokhalira banja lopeza, malinga ngati ana akukondedwa ndi kusamaliridwa, ndipo aliyense ali womasuka ndi mkhalidwewo. Kuwerenga nkhani kapena ulusi pa intaneti nthawi zina kungakhale kothandiza, komanso, itengeni ndi njere yamchere chifukwa zinthu zambiri zimasemphana, ndipo anthu amenewo sakudziwa momwe zilili zanu. Ndinganenenso kuti ndizoyenera! Sindingathe kufotokoza chisangalalo chowona mwana wanga wamng'ono akupsompsona kwa azichimwene ake akuluakulu kapena kuyang'ana nkhope zawo kuwala pamene Lucas akumwetulira.