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La Makuakane 2022

By Ua haʻi aku ʻo Will H

He hanana kūikawā kēia lā Makua noʻu no ka mea ʻo ia ka manawa mua e hiki ai iaʻu ke hoʻolauleʻa me ka inoa kūhelu o “Papa.” Ua hānau ʻia kaʻu keiki ʻo Elliott i Ianuali o kēia makahiki, a ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke haʻaheo i kona ʻano ʻimi noiʻi a me nā mākau āna e aʻo ikaika nei (e like me ka ʻakaʻaka, ka ʻōwili ʻana a me ka noho ʻana i luna!).

Ua hāʻawi mai kēia kau Lā Makua iaʻu i ka manawa e noʻonoʻo ai i kaʻu kuleana i kēia makahiki i hala. Ma keʻano maoli, ua hoʻopiha ʻia ʻo 2022 me nā ʻike kupanaha, akā naʻe nā hoʻāʻo luhi a me nā hoʻoponopono ʻana i ke ola. Ke kū nei i nā loli ola koʻikoʻi, he mea nui e nānā iā ʻoe iho a me kou olakino noʻonoʻo. Eia kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻoihana aʻu i noiʻi ai i pili iaʻu i kaʻu huakaʻi ma ka noho makua kāne. ʻOiai ʻaʻole ʻoe he makua kāne a ʻaʻole paha ʻoe e hoʻolālā e lilo i makua kāne, manaʻo wau e pili ana nā manaʻo i hōʻike ʻia ma kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i nā loli o ke kūlana ola.

  1. He mea maoli ka hopohopo makua; ʻoiai ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke mākaukau no kēlā me kēia pilikia, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi a aʻo ma ke ala2. Nui au i ka hoʻolālā ʻana ma mua, a ʻoiai ua heluhelu au i nā puke makua a pau, aia nō nā mea i kāhāhā iaʻu. He kī nui ka loaʻa ʻana o ka noʻonoʻo ulu, me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hemolele i nā mea āpau.
  2. E ʻimi i ke kākoʻo i waena o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, mai nā hoaaloha, ʻohana, a i ʻole ke komo ʻana i kahi hui kākoʻo makua hou2. Ua loaʻa iaʻu kahi ʻōnaehana kākoʻo nui mai koʻu ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha he mau makua pū kekahi. Inā makemake ʻoe i nā lawelawe kākoʻo, loaʻa iā Postpartum Support International kahi laina kelepona/text (800-944-4773) a me kahi hui kākoʻo pūnaewele.3. Mai poina, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻimi i ke kōkua ʻoihana mai nā mea lapaʻau pū kekahi1.
  3. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe he makua hoʻokahi, mai haʻalele i kāu pilina me kāu hoa2. E loli ana kou pilina me lākou, no laila, he mea koʻikoʻi ka kamaʻilio pinepine ʻana no ka kaʻana like ʻana i kou mau manaʻo, ka hōʻike ʻana i kou mau manaʻo, a me ka hoʻokele ʻana i nā kuleana/kuleana hou. ʻOiai ʻaʻole wau i hemolele i nā manawa a pau ma ke kamaʻilio ʻana, hoʻoikaika mau wau me kaʻu wahine e wehe i kekahi i kekahi e pili ana i ke kākoʻo e pono ai mākou.
  4. Mai poina e lawe i ka manawa no ʻoe iho a me nā mea āu e hauʻoli ai1. ʻO ka lawe ʻana i kahi kūlana hou ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e nalowale loa ʻoe ʻo wai ʻoe. Manaʻo wau he mea nui e lawe i kekahi manawa no ʻoe iho a e hōʻoia ʻoe e hana nei i kahi mea āu e leʻaleʻa ai; a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, e hana i kahi mea āu e hauʻoli ai me kāu mau keiki. ʻO kekahi o kaʻu mau hana punahele i kēia mau lā, ʻo ia ka hānai ʻana i kaʻu keiki i kāna ʻōmole oiai e hoʻolohe ana i nā pāʻani pōhili ma ka lekiō.

I ka pau ʻana o kaʻu paʻi ʻana i kēia, ʻuā ʻo Elliott i loko o kahi lumi ʻē aʻe no ka mea ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia e iho i lalo no kona hiamoe ʻana, ʻoiai ʻo ia e ʻuā mau ana a maopopo ka luhi. I nā manawa e like me kēia, inā he makuakāne hou ʻoe a i ʻole e hoʻokele wale ana i nā manawa rollercoaster he nui o ke ola, ʻike wau he mea kōkua ia e hoʻomanaʻo iā ʻoe iho i ka nui o ka lokomaikaʻi, a me ka mahalo i nā manawa liʻiliʻi i kēlā me kēia manawa e loaʻa ai kahi manawa.

Hauʻoli lā Makua 2022!

 

kumu

  1. Halemai Emerson (2021). Nā Pāpā Hou a me ke Ola Noʻonoʻo - 8 mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e noho olakino.  org/articles/new-dads-and-mental-health
  2. Mental Health America (ND) Ola noʻonoʻo a me ka Makua Hou. org/mental-health-and-new-father
  3. Kākoʻo Postpartum International (2022). Kōkua no nā Pāpā. net/loaa-kōkua/kōkua-no-mau makua/