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Kanikau a me ke olakino noʻonoʻo

By Nancy V

Ua hala aku ka makuakāne o kaʻu keiki me ka manaʻo ʻole ʻehā mau makahiki i hala; He 33 kona mau makahiki a ua ʻike ʻia me ka maʻi ahulau post-traumatic, ka hopohopo a me ke kaumaha i hoʻokahi makahiki ma mua o kēlā. I ka manawa o kona make ʻana he ʻeono makahiki o kaʻu keiki, a ʻo wau ka mea nāna e haki kona puʻuwai me ka nūhou ʻoiai e haʻihaʻi ana kaʻu e ʻike nei i kona ʻeha.

ʻAʻole ʻike ʻia ke kumu o ka make no kekahi mau mahina. ʻO ka helu o nā leka a me nā nīnau i loaʻa iaʻu mai nā malihini e pili ana i kona make i helu ʻole ʻia. Ua manaʻo ka hapanui ua pepehi ʻo ia iā ia iho. Ua haʻi mai kekahi iaʻu makemake lākou e ʻike i kāna kumu o ka make no ka mea e hāʻawi iā lākou i ka pani. I kēlā manawa aia wau i ka pae huhū o ke kaumaha a haʻi aku i kēlā kanaka i kā lākou pani ʻana i mea ʻole iaʻu no ka mea he keiki kaʻu e hānai ma kaʻu iho ʻaʻole loa e pani. Ua huhū wau i nā mea āpau no ka noʻonoʻo ʻana ua ʻoi aku ka nui o kā lākou nalowale ma mua o kaʻu keiki. ʻO wai lākou e noʻonoʻo ai he wahi ko lākou i loko o ko Jim ola ʻana ʻoiai ka hapa nui o lākou i walaʻau ʻole iā ia i nā makahiki! Ua huhū wau.

I koʻu poʻo, ua hiki mai kona make iā mākou a ʻaʻohe mea e hiki ke pili i ko mākou ʻeha. Koe, hiki iā lākou. ʻO nā ʻohana o nā kūpuna a me nā mea i lilo i kahi mea aloha i nā kumu ʻike ʻole ʻike maopopo i ka mea aʻu e hele nei. I kā mākou hihia, ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha o ka poʻe kahiko i hoʻouna ʻia. Hoʻomaopopo nā koa i hoʻonoho ʻia i nā pae kiʻekiʻe o ka trauma ke hoʻouna ʻia i nā wahi kaua. Aia ʻo Jim ma Afghanistan no ʻehā mau makahiki.

ʻO Alan Bernhardt (2009) i ke ala ʻana i ka pahuhopu o ka mālama ʻana i nā koa o OEF / OIF me ka hui pū ʻia ʻana o PTSD a me Subuseance Abuse, ua aʻo ʻia ʻo Smith College Studies in Social Work, e like me kahi ana (Hoge et al., 2004), he pākēneka kiʻekiʻe o ka pūʻali koa a me nā koa koa e lawelawe ana i Iraq a me Afghanistan i ʻike i ka ulia hakakā hakakā. ʻO kahi laʻana, 95% o nā Koa Malina a me 89% o nā pūʻali Koa e lawelawe ana i ʻIraka i ʻike i ka hoʻouka ʻia a i ʻole hoʻohālua ʻia, a 58% o nā pūʻali Koa e lawelawe ana ma Afghanistan i ʻike i kēia. ʻO nā pākēneka kiʻekiʻe no kēia mau pūʻulu ʻekolu i ʻike i nā pūkuniahi e hiki mai ana, ka pōhaku, a me ke ahi puna (92%, 86%, a me 84%,). a i ʻole ʻike i kekahi i hōʻeha a make paha (94%, 95%, a me 39%, i kēlā me kēia). Hoʻokomo ʻia ʻo Jim i loko o kēia mau helu helu, ʻoiai ʻo ia e ʻimi nei i ka lāʻau i nā mahina ma mua o kona make ʻana ua lohi paha ia.

I ka manawa ma hope o ke kanu ʻana ua kuʻu lepo i kona lepo, a ma hope o ke kūʻē nui ʻana, neʻe aku kaʻu keiki me koʻu mau mākua. No ka makahiki mua, ua lilo kēia huakaʻi i mea pono nui o kā mākou kamaʻilio. ʻO kaʻu keikikāne i ka noho hope me kāna lauoho i hoʻi i hope a me nā maka hou e wehe i kona puʻuwai a holo e pili ana i kāna mau manaʻo. ʻIke wau i kona mau maka ma o kona mau maka a me ke ʻano o kāna wehewehe ʻana i kona mau naʻau, a me ka ʻakaʻaka o ka ʻaoʻao e ʻā ana. E ninini ʻo James i kona puʻuwai i waenakonu o kahi kalaka ma Interstate 270. Paʻa wau i koʻu huila a paʻa i nā waimaka.

Ua ʻōlelo ka poʻe he nui e lawe wau iā ia i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo, ʻo ka make koke ʻana o kona makuakāne kūpuna kahi mea e hakakā maoli ai kahi keiki. Ua ʻōlelo ʻia e nā hoa koa ma mua e hui pū mākou i nā pūʻulu hoʻolaha a hoʻi i hope ma ka ʻāina holoʻokoʻa. Makemake wau e hana i ka manawa no kāna bele kula 8:45 am a hele i ka hana. Makemake wau e noho maʻamau e like me ka hiki. Iā mākou, e hele maʻamau i ke kula a hana i kēlā me kēia lā a me kahi hana leʻaleʻa i nā hopena pule. Ua mālama au iā James i kāna kula like; aia ʻo ia i ke kula kamaliʻi i ka manawa o ka make ʻana o kona makuakāne a ʻaʻole au makemake e nui nā loli. Ua neʻe mākou i loko o kahi hale ʻokoʻa a ʻo ia kahi hakakā nui aʻe nona. Ua nānā koke ʻo James ʻaʻole wale iaʻu akā, kona mau kūpuna a me nā ʻanakē.

Ua lilo koʻu ʻohana a me koʻu mau hoaaloha i ʻōnaehana kākoʻo nui. Hiki iaʻu ke hilinaʻi i koʻu makuahine e lawe i nā manawa ke kaumaha wau i nā naʻau a i ʻole pono e hoʻomaha. ʻO nā lā paʻakikī loa ka wā e hoʻopuka ai kaʻu keiki maikaʻi i ka mea e ʻai ai a i ka wā e ʻauʻau ai. I kekahi mau lā e ala ʻo ia i ke kakahiaka e uē ana mai nā moeʻuhane e pili ana i kona makuakāne. I kēlā mau lā kau wau i koʻu helehelena koa, lawe i ka lā hoʻomaha mai ka hana a me ke kula a noho i ka lā e kamaʻilio pū me ia a hōʻoluʻolu iā ia. I kekahi mau lā, ua hoʻopaʻa wau iaʻu iho i loko o koʻu lumi e uwē ana ma mua o nā manawa ʻē aʻe i koʻu ola. A laila, he mau lā kahi hiki ʻole iaʻu ke hele i waho o kahi moe no ka mea ua haʻi koʻu hopohopo iaʻu inā hele wau i waho o ka puka hiki iaʻu ke make a laila he ʻelua mau mākua kāne make kaʻu keiki. Ua uhi mai kahi kapa kaumaha o ke kaumaha i koʻu kino a me ke kaumaha o ke kuleana i hāpai iaʻu i ka manawa like. Me kahi kī wela i ka lima ua huki koʻu makuahine iaʻu mai kahi moe, a ua ʻike wau ua hiki i ka manawa e hiki ai i kahi loea a hoʻomaka i ka hoʻōla i ke kaumaha.

Mahalo wau i ka hana ʻana i kahi wahi aloha, palekana kahi e hiki ai iaʻu ke moʻo me kaʻu mau hoa e pili ana i koʻu ola. I hoʻokahi lā i ka wā o kahi ʻaina awakea a aʻo i ka hana, hele mākou a puni ka pākaukau a kaʻana like i nā ʻike o ke ola. Ma hope o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i kaʻu, ua hele mai kekahi poʻe iaʻu ma hope a ʻōlelo e launa i kā mākou Polokalamu Kōkua limahana. ʻO kēia papahana ke kukui alakaʻi e pono ai wau e hele. Ua hoʻolako lākou i kaʻu keiki me aʻu i nā kauā i kōkua iā mākou e hoʻomohala i nā pono hana kamaʻilio e kōkua iā mākou e hana i ke kaumaha a mālama i ko mākou olakino noʻonoʻo.

Inā ʻoe, he hoa hana, a i ʻole he mea aloha e hele nei i loko o nā manawa paʻakikī me nā pilikia olakino noʻonoʻo, e kikoo aku, e ʻōlelo. Aia kekahi e makemake e kōkua iā ʻoe ma waena o kēlā me kēia manawa.