INyanga yoKwazisa ngokuKhutshwa koMntwana

Ndisemncinci, ndabukela imiboniso yeTV kwiDisney okanye eNickelodeon kwaye kwakusoloko kukho isiqendu esinye xa omnye umntakwenu wayeqhatha omnye umntakwenu ukuba acinge ukuba bamkelwe, nto leyo eyenza ukuba umntakwenu oye waphangwa, akhathazeke. Oku kwakusoloko kundenza ndizibuze ukuba kutheni kukho iimbono ezininzi ezingakhiyo ngokukhuliswa ngabanye abantu kuba ndandingenakonwaba ngakumbi! Ndikhule ndisazi kwaye ndiziva ndithandwa kwaye ndifunda kubazali bam njengoko benzayo abahlobo bam; Umahluko kuphela ndandingafani nabazali bam njengabahlobo bam bafana nezabo, kodwa oko kwakulungile!

Njengoko ndikhumbula iinkumbulo zam ukususela ebutsheni bam, ndikhumbula intsini, uthando, yaye abazali bam basoloko bebonakalisa ukundixhasa enoba kwenzeka ntoni na. Akukho nto yakha yaziva yahlukile kunezinye iintsapho. Saya eholideyini kunye, abazali bam bandifundisa ukuhamba, ukukhwela ibhayisekile, ukuqhuba, kunye nezinye izinto ezisisigidi-njengabanye abantwana.

Ekukhuleni kwam, yaye nanamhlanje, ndisoloko ndibuzwa ukuba ndivakalelwa njani ngokukhuliswa ngabanye abantu yaye inyaniso ikukuba ndikuthanda ngokupheleleyo. Ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo kuba abazali bam [abandikhulisayo] bebekhona ukuze bandithathe njengomntwana kwaye bandincede ndikhule kwaye ndikhule ndibe yile nto ndiyiyo namhlanje. Ndingatsho ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ngaphandle kokukhulisa umntwana, andazi ukuba bendiya kuba phi. Xa abazali bam bandamkelayo, bandinika uzinzo nokungaguquguquki nto leyo eyandivumela ukuba ndibe ngumntwana ngokwenene ndaza ndakhula ndikhule ngendlela endandingazange ndikwazi ukwenjenjalo.

“Ukwenza umntwana ongowakho kukuzibophelela ongena kuko ungaboni, kodwa akufani nokongeza umntwana ngokuzalwa. Kubalulekile ukuba abazali abakhulisa umntwana bazibophelele ekukhuliseni lo mntwana ubomi babo bonke kwaye bazibophelele ekubeni ngumzali kwizinto ezinzima.”

–Brooke Randolph

Ndicinga ukuba eyona nxalenye ibalulekileyo onokucinga ngayo xa ukhetha ukuthatha umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowakho okanye hayi kuxa uneemvakalelo nezemali, nto leyo ayahlukanga kukulungiselela ukuba ukhawule owakho umntwana wokuzalwa. Okuseleyo kukuhamba nje kwinkqubo kwaye ulungiselela ukukhulisa usapho lwakho. Ngelixa kukho izinto ezininzi ezingaziwayo ngokuthathwa komntwana, ndicinga ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuqonda ukuba sonke singabantu. Ngokwamava am, akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube “gqibelele” mzali ukuba ube ngumzekelo omhle kumntwana wakho. Intsingiselo, okoko nje uzama konke okusemandleni akho, yiloo nto kuphela umntwana anokuyicela. Ukuba nenjongo kunokwenza wonke umahluko.

Ngelixa usapho lunokucingwa njengegazi, okanye izalamane ezenziwe ngomtshato, ukwamkelwa kuzisa imbono entsha yegama elithi "usapho" njengoko kuvumela izibini, okanye abantu, ukuba bakhulise ikhaya labo ngendlela "eqhelekileyo". Usapho lunokuba, kwaye lungaphezulu kwegazi; liqhina elenziwa lize likhuliswe kwiqela labantu. Xa ndicinga ngeli gama ngoku, andicingi nje ngabantakwethu nabazali bam, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba unxibelelwano losapho lulukhulu kunokuba bendicinga – lumanyano oluntsonkothileyo olunokubandakanya ibhayoloji, kunye nengeyiyo eyebhayoloji. , ubudlelwane. Amava am ade andikhuthaza ukuba ndicinge ngokuthatha umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowam kwikamva lam, nokuba ndiyakwazi ukuzikhulela ndedwa okanye hayi, ukuze ndizenzele esam isakhiwo sosapho olulodwa.

Ke, ndingakhuthaza nabani na ocinga ngokuthatha umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowakho ukuba aqhubeke nako. Ewe, kuya kubakho imibuzo kunye neenkxalabo, kunye namaxesha okungaqiniseki kodwa xa engekho xa usenza izigqibo ezinkulu zobomi?! Ukuba unendlela yokuthatha umntwana, okanye abantwana ubase ekhayeni lakho, ungenza umahluko ngenene. Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukusukela ngo-2019, bekukho ngaphezulu kwe-120,000 yabantwana kwinkqubo abalindele ukubekwa kwikhaya elisisigxina (i-Statista, ngo-2021) ngelixa sisi-2 ukuya kwisi-4% kuphela sabantu baseMelika abathathe umntwana, okanye abantwana (Inethiwekhi Yokutholwa, ngo-2020). Kukho abantwana abaninzi kwinkqubo abafuna ithuba lokukhula kwaye bakhule kwikhaya elizinzileyo nelizinzileyo. Ukubonelela umntwana ngendawo efanelekileyo kunokuchaphazela ngokwenene ukukhula nophuhliso.

Ngolwazi oluthe kratya malunga nokuba ungamthatha njani umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowakho ungandwendwela adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information apho unokufumana ii-arhente zokuthatha umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowakho kwindawo yakho kwaye ufumane ulwazi oluthe kratya malunga nendlela yokusebenza ngenkqubo yokuzisa umntwana omtsha, okanye abantwana, ekhayeni lakho! Ukuba ufuna inkuthazo eyongezelelweyo, ungandwendwela globalmunchkins.com/adoption/adoption-quotes/ kucatshulwe malunga nokuthatha umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowakho kunye neenzuzo zokukhetha ukwamkela.

Izibonelelo:

statista.com/statistics/255375/inani-labantwana-abalindele-ukuba bamkelwe-in-the-united-states/

adoptionnetwork.com/adoption-myths-facts/domestic-us-statistics/

iinkcazelo.uslegal.com/t/transracial-adoption/

globalmunchkins.com/adoption/adoption-quotes/