Usuku lwaMazwe ngaMazwe lokuKhululwa kwabantwana
USuku lwaMazwe ngaMazwe lokuKhululwa kwabantwana lubonwa ngo-Agasti woku-1 minyaka le njengosuku lokubhiyozela abantu abakhethe ngokuzithandela ukungabi nabantwana kunye nokukhuthaza ukwamkelwa kokhetho lwasimahla.
Abanye abantu bebesoloko besazi ukuba bafuna abantwana. Bayazi kwasebuncinaneni ukuba bebesoloko befuna ukuba ngabazali. Andizange ndibe naloo mvakalelo - ngokuchaseneyo, ngokwenene. Ndingumfazi cisgender okhethe ukungabi nabantwana; kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo, andizange ndigqibe. Ngokufana nabantu ababesoloko besazi ukuba bafuna ukuba nabantwana, ndandisoloko ndisazi ukuba andizange ndibe nabo. Xa ndikhetha ukwabelana nabanye ngolu khetho, kunokuhlangatyezwana neemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo kunye nezimvo. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxela kwam kuhlangatyezwana nenkxaso kunye nezimvo ezikhuthazayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ... hayi kakhulu. Ndiye ndadibana nolwimi oluthobayo, imibuzo ephazamisayo, ihlazo, kunye nentiyo. Ndiye ndaxelelwa ukuba andisoze ndibe ngumfazi wokwenene, ukuba ndiyazingca, nezinye iintetho ezibuhlungu. Iimvakalelo zam ziye zathatyathelwa phantsi, zatyeshelwa, zajongelwa phantsi, ngokufuthi ndixelelwa ukuba ndiza kuyitshintsha ingqondo yam xa ndimdala okanye ndiya kuzifuna ngenye imini xa ndiqolile ngakumbi. Ngoku, kufuneka nditsho, njengoko ndisondele kwiminyaka engama-40 ubudala kwaye ngabom ndingqongwe ngabantu abaxhasayo nababandakanyekayo, ndizifumana kancinci ezi zimvo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo azikapheli ngokupheleleyo.
Kuluntu apho isiqhelo sijikeleza ekuqaliseni usapho kunye nokukhulisa abantwana, ukukhetha ukungabi namntwana kudla ngokubonwa njengento engaqhelekanga, eyaphula isithethe, kwaye ingaqhelekanga. Ihlazo, izigwebo, kunye nezimvo ezikhohlakeleyo ziyingozi kwaye zinokuchaphazela impilo yengqondo kunye nempilo yomntu. Iimpendulo zobubele nokuqonda ziya kwamkelwa ngokufudumeleyo ngabantu abenza ukhetho lobuqu lokungabi nabantwana. Ngokuphatha abantu abangenabantwana ngemfesane, intlonipho, nokuqonda, sinokukhuthaza uluntu olubandakanyayo nolwamkelekileyo oluxabisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokhetho kunye neendlela ezisa kwinzaliseko.
Ukungabi namntwana akukokwala ukuba ngumzali okanye ukhetho lokuzingca, kodwa sisigqibo sobuqu esivumela abantu ukuba balandele iindlela zabo. Njengoko ihlabathi lisiya lisiba nenkqubela kwaye lingafani, abantu abaninzi bayasamkela isigqibo sokuphila ubomi obungenamntwana kunye nezizathu ezahlukeneyo zomntu ngamnye kunye nezobuqu. Zininzi izizathu ezibangela ukuba abantu bakhethe ukungabi nabantwana, kwaye ezi zintshukumisa zinokwahluka kakhulu kumntu nomntu. Ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo ziquka ukungabi namnqweno wokuba nabantwana, uzinzo lwezemali, inkululeko yokubeka phambili ukuzaliseka komntu, ubuninzi babantu / iinkxalabo zokusingqongileyo, iinjongo zomsebenzi, impilo / iimeko zomntu, ezinye iimbopheleleko zokunyamekela, kunye / okanye imeko yangoku yehlabathi. Khumbula ukuba amava omntu ngamnye aya kuba yedwa, kwaye isigqibo sokungabi namntwana sisomntu onzulu. Kubalulekile ukuhlonipha nokuxhasa ukhetho lomntu nokuba ukhetha ukuba nabantwana okanye hayi; kwaye olo lonwabo nentsingiselo inokufumaneka kwiindawo ngeendawo.
Abanye abantu bafumana ulwaneliseko nenjongo ebomini ngeendlela ezingezizo ukuba ngumzali. Basenokukhetha ukusebenzisa amandla abo kwimisebenzi yokuyila, imisetyenzana yokuzonwabisa, ukunyamekela abazali abalupheleyo, amatsha-ntliziyo, ububele bothando, nezinye izinto ezinentsingiselo ezihambelana nemilinganiselo neenkanuko zabo. Ukukhetha ukungabi nabantwana akuthethi ubomi obungenaxabiso okanye ulwaneliseko. Endaweni yoko, abantu abangenabantwana banethuba lokusa amandla kunye nezixhobo zabo kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi babo ezibazisela ulonwabo. Mna ngokwam, ndifumana uvuyo olukhulu kwivolontiya, ukuchitha ixesha nosapho, ukuya kuhambo lwangaphandle, ukunyamekela izilwanyana zasekhaya, nokusukela usukelo olwahlukahlukeneyo.
Ukukhetha ukungabi nabantwana sisigqibo sobuqu esifanele sihlonelwe size sixatyiswe. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba ukukhetha ukungabi nabantwana akumenzi umntu ongakwaziyo ukuthanda, uvelwano, okanye igalelo eluntwini. Ngokuqonda kunye nokwamkela indlela yokuphila engenamntwana, sinokukhuthaza uluntu olubandakanya ngakumbi noluqondayo olwamkela ukhetho olwahlukeneyo kwaye lubhiyozele ukufuna ulonwabo lobuqu kunye nokwaneliseka, nokuba oko kubandakanya ubuzali okanye hayi.