Uyandigqiba
"Uyandigqiba."
Kulungile, xa sicinga ngokuncoma, sinokucinga ngabantu abadumileyo, abaphezulu kakhulu njengale filimu ethi "Jerry Maguire," elawulwa nguCameron Crowe kwi-1996.
Masiyibeke phantsi inotshi okanye ezimbini kwaye siqwalasele amandla anokubakho kwizincomo zomamkeli kunye nalowo uphayo.
Kukho ngokwenene uSuku lweSizwe lokuNtusa oluba minyaka le nge-24 kaJanuwari. Injongo yale holide kukuthetha into emnandi kubahlobo bakho, usapho, kunye nabasebenzi osebenza nabo. Uhlolisiso luye lwabonisa ukuba ukuncoma kunempembelelo entle kumntu oncomayo. Ngamanye amazwi, ncoma kwaye unokwenza nawe wonwabe.
I-“Readers Digest” iye yenza uhlolisiso ebantwini ukutyhubela iminyaka yaza yafumana eyona nto ibalaseleyo yokuncoma kuquka izinto ezinjengalezi: “ungumphulaphuli obalaseleyo,” “ungumzali omangalisayo,” “uyandikhuthaza,” “ndinokholo wena,” nabanye.
"Uphononongo lweShishini lwaseHarvard" lufumanise ukuba abantu bahlala beyijongela phantsi impembelelo yezincomo zabo kwabanye. Kwakhona bafumanise ukuba abantu bazixhalabise ngokugqith’ emgceni ngamandla abo obuchule bokudumisa omnye umntu. Sonke siziva si-dorky okanye singathandeki, kwaye ke ukuxhalaba kwethu kusishiya singenathemba malunga nemiphumo yokudumisa kwabo.
Kanye njengokutya kakuhle nokwenza umthambo, thina njengabantu sinemfuneko esisiseko yokubonwa, ukuhlonelwa nokuxatyiswa ngabanye abantu. Oku kuyinyaniso kwimeko yokusebenza kunye nobomi ngokubanzi.
Omnye umbhali wayekholelwa ukuba imalunga nokudala inkcubeko yokubulela. Oku kunokuba kubaluleke ngakumbi ngoku kunangaphambili. Ukuvakalisa umbulelo rhoqo komnye umntu kunceda ekudaleni le nkcubeko. Impembelelo yezi ntshukumo zilungileyo ayinakugqithiswa.
Njengayo nayiphi na into ekufanele yenziwe, kufuna ukuziqhelanisa. Abanye bethu baneentloni okanye baneentloni yaye abakhululekanga ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zethu. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba nje ukuba ufumene ukuxhoma kuyo, ukunika indumiso okanye izincomo kuya kuba lula, kukhululeke kwaye kube ngumsebenzi obalulekileyo wemihla ngemihla.
Uya kuba uvakalisa uxabiso lwakho lokwenene kumntu osebenza naye, umphathi, iweyitala, unobhala wevenkile, okanye iqabane lakho, abantwana bakho, kunye nomamazala wakho.
Abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba indawo efanayo yengqondo, i-striatum, iyasebenza xa umntu evuzwa ngokunconywa okanye ngemali. Le maxa wambi ibizwa ngokuba “yimivuzo yoluntu.” Olu phando lunokuphinda lucebise ukuba xa i-striatum ivuliwe, kubonakala ngathi iyamkhuthaza umntu ukuba enze ngcono ngexesha lokuzilolonga.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukufumana indumiso kukhupha imichiza esengqondweni ebizwa ngokuba yi-dopamine. Yikhemikhali efanayo ekhutshwayo xa sithandana, sisitya into emnandi, okanye sicamngca. “Ngumvuzo wendalo” kunye nendlela yokukhuthaza ukuziphatha okufanayo kwixesha elizayo.
Umbulelo, ndiyakholwa, yeyona ntshukumo iphambili eyenzekayo apha. Kwaye ukuchaneka, ukuba ufuna ukwenza ubomi bakho bube ngcono, nikela ingqalelo kwinto oyicingayo. La ngamandla ombulelo. Ukuxabisa umntu othile kuyalomeleza ulwalamano lwakho naye. Inokukhuthaza iqabane lakho okanye umntu osebenza naye ukuba enze okufanayo. Kwakhona, xa umntu ekuncoma, yamkele! Abantu abaninzi basabela xa benconywa ngokuba neentloni (oh hayi!), bazigxeke (oh bekungeyonto intle kwaphela), okanye ngokuyixukuxa ngokubanzi. Uninzi lwethu lugxile kwizinto esingazithandiyo kangangokuba sizihoye izinto ezintle ezithethwa ngabantu abasingqongileyo. Xa ufumana ukunconywa, musa ukuzibeka phantsi, ujike ukuncoma, ubonise ubuthathaka bakho, okanye uthi lithamsanqa nje. Endaweni yoko, yiba noxabiso nobubele, yitsho enkosi, kwaye ukuba kufanelekile, ncoma okwakho.
Ukwenza olu tshintshiselwano luhle lube ngumkhwa lukhokelela kwimvakalelo eyomeleleyo yokusondelana, ukuthembana, kunye nokuba ngowabanye. Ukuziqhelanisa ngakumbi nombulelo kubo bonke ubudlelwane bakho kunokukhokelela ekubeni uzolile, wonwabe ngakumbi. Ke, bonisa uxabiso lwakho ngomntu ngokujolisa kwizinto ezicingisisiweyo (kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ezingabonakaliyo) azenzayo.
Abantu abanombulelo nabo badla ngokwenza indlela yokuziphatha esempilweni ibe yinxalenye yobomi babo. Benza ixesha lokuhlolwa ngokubanzi. Benza umthambo ngakumbi kwaye benze ukhetho olunempilo malunga nokutya nokusela. Zonke ezi zinto ziphucula impilo.
Inkcazo malunga namaqela akwisimo somsebenzi: umbulelo ubalulekile kwimpilo yeqela. Amalungu eqela aziva exatyisiwe kwaye eqondwa aya kwandisa loo mvakalelo kwabanye, edala umjikelo olungileyo.
holidayscalendar.com/event/compliment-day/
hbr.org/2021/02/a-simple-compliment- can- make-big-mahluko
livepurposefullynow.com/the-hidden-benefits-of-compliments-you-probably-never-knew/
sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/11/121109111517.htm
thewholeu.uw.edu/2016/02/01/dare-to-praise/