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Ukuqhelisela Ukuba Nombulelo

Ukuba ufika endlwini yam, into yokuqala oya kuyibona xa ungena emnyango nguMnu. Ungayityala ingqondo yokudala yomntwana wam oneminyaka eyi-2.5 ngalowo. Umnumzana iTurkey intle ngoku, ngaphandle kweentsiba ezimbalwa. Ukutyhubela inyanga kaNovemba, uya kufumana iintsiba ezininzi ngakumbi. Kwintsiba nganye, uya kufumana amagama anjengathi “mama,” “dada,” “Play-Doh,” kunye “neepancakes”. Uyabona, uMnu. Turkey yi-turkey yokubonga. Yonke imihla, umntwana wam oselula usixelela into enye anombulelo ngayo. Ekupheleni kwenyanga, siza kuba neturkey ezele ziintsiba eziqulathe zonke izinto azithandayo zonyana wam. (Inqaku elisecaleni: Ndinqwenela ukuba ndithathe ikhredithi kule ngcamango. Kodwa ngokwenene ivela @busytoddler kwi-Instagram. Ukuba unabantwana, uyamdinga ebomini bakho).

Ewe, unyana wam usemncinci kakhulu ukuba angayiqonda intsingiselo yombulelo, kodwa uyayazi into ayithandayo. Ngoko xa simbuza ukuba “uthanda ntoni?” yaye uphendula “ngebala lokudlala,” sithi kuye “uyalibulela ibala lakho lokudlala.” Ngenene yingcamango elula kakhulu, ukuba ucinga ngayo; ukuba nombulelo ngezinto esinazo kunye nezinto esizithandayo. Nangona kunjalo, kunokuba nzima kubantu, kuquka nam, ukuyikhumbula. Ngesizathu esithile, kulula ukufumana izinto onokukhalaza ngazo. Kule nyanga, ndiyaziqhelanisa nokuguqula izikhalazo zam zibe ngumbulelo. Ke endaweni yokuthi “ugh. Umntwana wam omncinci ulibazisa ixesha lokulala kwakhona. Ekuphela kwento endifuna ukuyenza kukuya kuphumla ndedwa umzuzu,” ndisebenza ekuyitshintsheni loo nto ndiye “Ndiyalibulela eli xesha longezelelekileyo lokunxibelelana nonyana wam. Ndiyamthanda uziva ekhuselekile xa enam kwaye ufuna ukuchitha ixesha nam. ” Ngaba ndithe ndinguye ukuzilolonga oku? Kuba oku akwenzeki lula. Kodwa ndiye ndafunda ukuba ukuguquka kwesimo sengqondo kunokwenza imimangaliso. Yiyo loo nto mna nomyeni wam sifuna ukufundisa amakhwenkwe ethu umbulelo esemancinane. Luqheliselo. Kwaye kulula ukuwa ngaphandle. Ke into elula njengokujikeleza itafile kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kwaye uthethe into enye nje esiyibulelayo yindlela ekhawulezayo yokuziqhelanisa nombulelo. Kunyana wam, ubusuku ngabunye impendulo iyafana. Unombulelo “ngokunika umama iimarshmallows.” Wayenza kanye lento wayibona ukuba iyandonwabisa, yiloo nto ayibulela yonke imihla. Sisikhumbuzo sokuba sinokuba nombulelo nangezona zinto zilula. Kanti ukundinika imarshmallows kuba eyazi iyandonwabisa? Ndithetha, yiza. Iswiti kakhulu. Ke, nasi isikhumbuzo, kum kunye nawe, ukufumana into enombulelo ngayo namhlanje. Njengoko uBrené Brown ekrelekrele wathi, "Ubomi obulungileyo buyenzeka xa uyeka kwaye unombulelo ngamaxesha aqhelekileyo apho uninzi lwethu luthi gqolo ukuzama ukufumana loo mzuzu ungaqhelekanga."

*Ndiyaliqonda ilungelo endinalo lokuba nezinto ezininzi endinombulelo ngazo. Ithemba lam lelokuba sonke sinokufumana ubuncinane into enye, enkulu okanye encinane, esinokuba nombulelo ngayo suku ngalunye.