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Intlungu kunye neMpilo yengqondo

Utata wonyana wam wasweleka ngokungalindelekanga kwiminyaka emine edlulileyo; Wayeneminyaka engama-33 ubudala kwaye kwafunyaniswa ukuba unexinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kunyaka ongaphambi kwalowo. Ngexesha lokusweleka kwakhe unyana wam wayeneminyaka emithandathu, kwaye ibindim omophula intliziyo ngeendaba ngelixa eyam ibisophuka ndibona intlungu yakhe.

Isizathu sokufa sahlala singaziwa iinyanga ezininzi. Inani lemiyalezo kunye nemibuzo endiyifumene kubantu endingabaziyo malunga nokufa kwakhe ibingenakubalwa. Uninzi luthatha ukuba uzibulele. Umntu omnye undixelele ukuba bafuna ukwazi unobangela wokufa kwakhe kuba kuya kubanika ukuvalwa. Ngelo xesha ndandikwinqanaba lomsindo losizi kwaye ndaxelela loo mntu ukuvalwa kwabo kwakungathethi nto kum nanjengoko ndandinonyana wokuzikhulisela ndedwa ongasoze avalwe. Ndandinomsindo kuye wonke umntu ngokucinga ukuba ukulahleka kwakhe kwakukhulu kunonyana wam. Ngoobani ababecinga ukuba banendawo ebomini bukaJim ngelixa uninzi lwabo lwalungazange luthethe naye kwiminyaka! Bendinomsindo.

Kwintloko yam, ukusweleka kwakhe kwenzekile kuthi kwaye akukho mntu unokuziqonda iintlungu zethu. Ngaphandle kokuba, banako. Iintsapho zamagqala kunye nabo baphulukene nomntu ababathandayo ngenxa yezizathu ezingaziwayo bayazi kakuhle into endandi kuyo. Kwimeko yethu, iintsapho kunye nabahlobo bamajoni athunyelweyo. Amajoni athunyelweyo afumana amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo xa ethunyelwa kwimimandla yemfazwe. UJim wayese-Afghanistan iminyaka emine.

UAlan Bernhardt (2009) ekunyukeni kuMceli mngeni wokuPhatha ii-OEF / OIF Veterans nge-Co-ezenzeka nge-PTSD kunye nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, iSmith College Study in Social Work, ifumanisa ukuba ngokophando olunye (Hoge et al., 2004), ipesenti ephezulu Umkhosi wamajoni kunye namajoni aselwandle asebenza eIraq naseAfghanistan afumana umothuko omkhulu wokulwa. Umzekelo, ama-95% amaMarines kunye nama-89% amajoni omkhosi akhonza e-Iraq afumana uhlaselo okanye uhlaselo, kwaye ama-58% amajoni omkhosi akhonza e-Afghanistan afumana amava oku. Ipesenti ephezulu yala maqela mathathu ikwanamava oombayimbayi abangenayo, irokethi, okanye umlilo wodaka (iipesenti ezingama-92, iipesenti ezingama-86, kunye nama-84% ngokwahlukeneyo), yabona izidumbu okanye izidumbu zabantu (iipesenti ezingama-94, iipesenti ezingama-95, kunye nama-39% ngokwahlukeneyo), okanye wazi umntu owonzakele kakhulu okanye osweleke (iipesenti ezingama-87, ezingama-86%, nama-43% ngokwahlukeneyo). UJim ubandakanyiwe kwezi nkcukacha-manani, nangona wayefuna unyango kwiinyanga ezingaphambi kokuba asweleke.

Emva kokuba umcimbi womngcwabo uzinzisile uthuli, kwaye emva koqhanqalazo oluninzi, mna nonyana wam sahlala nabazali bam. Kunyaka wokuqala, olu hambo lwaba sisixhobo sethu esikhulu sonxibelelwano. Unyana wam kwisitulo esingasemva kunye neenwele zakhe zabuya umva kwaye amehlo amatsha aya kuyivula intliziyo yakhe aze aveze iimvakalelo zakhe. Ndifumana umbono katata wakhe ngamehlo akhe kunye nendlela azichaza ngayo iimvakalelo zakhe, kunye noncumo olusecaleni. UJames wayeyiphalaza imbilini yakhe phakathi kwindawo yokuxinana kweemoto kwi-Interstate 270. Ndandiye ndibambe ivili lokuqhuba ndizinqande iinyembezi.

Uninzi lwabantu lucebisile ukuba ndimse kumcebisi, ukuba ukusweleka ngesiquphe kukayise wakhe oligqala kuya kuba yinto umntwana oza kulwa nayo. Amaqabane omkhosi wangaphambili acebisa ukuba sijoyine amaqela enkxaso kunye nokubalekela kwilizwe liphela. Ndifuna ukuyenza ngexesha elifanelekileyo ngentsimbi yakhe yesikolo yesi-8: 45 kwaye ndiye emsebenzini. Ndifuna ukuhlala njengesiqhelo kangangoko. Kuthi, into eqhelekileyo yayiya esikolweni kwaye isebenze yonke imihla kunye nomsebenzi omnandi ngeempelaveki. UJames ndamgcina kwisikolo esinye; wayesesikolweni sabantwana abancinci ngexesha lokubhubha kukatata wakhe kwaye ndandingafuni kwenza utshintsho oluninzi. Besele sifudukele kwindlu eyahlukileyo kwaye ibingumzabalazo omkhulu kuye lowo. Ngokukhawuleza uJames akazange anikele ingqalelo kum kuphela kodwa nakutatomkhulu notatomkhulu wakhe.

Usapho lwam kunye nabahlobo baba yinkqubo enkulu yenkxaso. Ndingathembela kumama ukuba athathe lonke ixesha ndiziva ndonganyelwe ziimvakalelo okanye ndifuna ikhefu. Ezona ntsuku zazinzima yayikukuba xa unyana wam oziphethe kakuhle wayeza kuphuma ngaphandle kwento azokuyitya okanye xa kufuneka ahlambe. Ngezinye iintsuku wayevuka ekuseni akhale ngamaphupha ngotata wakhe. Ngezo ntsuku bendimane ndibeka ubuso bam obukhaliphileyo, ndithathe usuku emsebenzini nasesikolweni ndichithe usuku ndithetha naye ndimthuthuzela. Ngolunye usuku, ndazibona ndizivalele egumbini lam ndilila ngaphezu kwalo naliphi na elinye ixesha ebomini bam. Ke, zazikhona iintsuku apho ndandingakwazi ukuphuma ebhedini kuba ixhala lam lalindixelela ukuba ndiphuma emnyango ndingafa emva koko unyana wam abenabazali ababini abaswelekileyo. Ingubo enzima yoxinzelelo igubungele umzimba wam kwaye ubunzima bomthwalo bandiphakamisa kwangaxeshanye. Ndiphethe iti eshushu ngesandla umama wandikhupha ebhedini, kwaye bendisazi ukuba lixesha lokuba ndifikelele kwingcali kwaye ndiqale ukuphilisa usizi.

Ndiyabulela ukusebenza kwindawo enemfesane, nekhuselekileyo apho ndingathetha inyani noogxa bam ngobomi bam. Ngenye imini ngexesha lesidlo sasemini kunye nomsebenzi wokufunda, sajikeleza itafile kwaye sabelana ngamava amaninzi obomi. Emva kokwabelana ngam, abantu abambalwa beza kum emva koko bacebisa ukuba ndinxibelelane neNkqubo yokuNceda abaSebenzi. Le nkqubo yayisisibane esikhokelayo endifuna ukusigqitha. Banika mna nonyana wam iiseshoni zonyango ezasinceda ukuba siphucule izixhobo zonxibelelwano ukusinceda sijongane nosizi kunye nokunyamekela impilo yethu yengqondo.

Ukuba wena, umntu osebenza naye, okanye umntu omthandayo uhamba ngamaxesha anzima kunye neengxaki zempilo yengqondo, fikelela, thetha. Kuhlala kukho umntu ozimisele ukukunceda kuyo.