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Uhambo lwam ngokuTshaya

By Kayla A

Molo apho. Igama lam ndinguKayla Archer kwaye ndiphinde ndaphinda ndatshaya. Ngo-Novemba yinyanga yokuyeka umsi kuzwelonke, kwaye ndilapha ukuza kuthetha nawe malunga nohambo lwam lokuyeka ukutshaya.

Ndineminyaka eli-15 nditshaya. Ndiqale lo mkhwa xa ndandineminyaka eli-19 ubudala. Ngokwe-CDC, abantu abadala abali-9 kwabali-10 abatshayayo baqala ngaphambi kweminyaka eli-18, kwaye ke bendisemva kancinci kulobalo. Andizange ndicinge ukuba ndingatshaya. Bobabini abazali bam bayatshaya, kwaye njengomntu oselula ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba lo mkhwa ugabadele kwaye awunankathalo. Kule minyaka ili-15 idlulileyo, ndisebenzise ukutshaya njengesakhono sokulwa, kwaye njengesizathu sokunxulumana nabanye.

Xa ndandineminyaka engama-32, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba kwimpilo nakwintlalo-ntle yam kufuneka ndijongisise ukuba kutheni nditshaya, emva koko ndithathe amanyathelo okuyeka. Ndanditshatile, kwaye ngequbuliso ndandifuna ukuphila ngonaphakade ukuze ndibelane ngamava am nomyeni wam. Umyeni wam akazange andinyanzele ukuba ndiyeke ukutshaya, nangona naye engatshayi. Ndazi nje, emazantsi ezantsi, ukuba izizathu endandizenza ukutshaya azisabambi manzi maninzi. Ke, ndenza iphephandaba, ndaqaphela ukuba kutheni ndizakukhetha ukutshaya, kwaye ndenza icebo. Ndixelele lonke usapho kunye nabahlobo bam ukuba ndiza kuyeka ukutshaya ngo-Okthobha 1, 2019. Ndithenge intshungama, iimbewu zikajongilanga, kunye namaqamza onke ngethemba lokugcina izandla nomlomo zixakekile. Ndithengile isixa esihlekisayo somsonto ndaza ndazisa iinaliti zam zokuzimela - ndisazi ukuba izandla ezingenamsebenzi ngekhe zilunge. Nge-30 kaSeptemba 2019, ndatshaya isiqingatha sepakethi yecuba, ndamamela ezinye iingoma zokwahlukana (ndicula ipakethi yam yokutshaya) emva koko ndalahla iitreyini zam kunye nezibane. Ndiyekile ukutshaya nge-1 ka-Okthobha, ndingadingi kodwa usuku olunye loncedo lweentsini. Iveki yokuqala yayigcwele iimvakalelo (ikakhulu ukuba nochuku) kodwa ndasebenza nzima ukuqinisekisa ezo mvakalelo kwaye ndafumana izakhono ezahlukeneyo zokujamelana (ukuhamba, ukwenza iyoga) ukunceda imeko yam.

Khange ndiphoswe kukutshaya kangako emva kwenyanga yokuqala. Ngokunyaniseka, bendihlala ndilifumana ivumba kunye nokunambitheka kancinci. Ndiyithandile into yokuba zonke iimpahla zam zinuke kamnandi kwaye bendigcina imali eninzi (iipakethi ezi-4 ngeveki zongezwe zaya kuthi ga malunga ne- $ 25.00, leyo yi- $ 100.00 ngenyanga). Ndakhonkxa kakhulu, kwaye loo mveliso ngexesha leenyanga zobusika yayimangalisa. Yayingezizo zonke izinja zenjana kunye nemingxunya nangona. Ukuba nekhofi yam ekuseni kwakungafani ngaphandle kwecuba, kwaye amaxesha oxinzelelo ayedibana nentiyo yangaphakathi engaqhelekanga endandingayiqhelanga. Ndihleli nditshaya simahla, de kwaba ngu-Epreli ka-2020.

Xa yonke into ene-COVID-19 ibetha, bendixakiwe njengaye wonke umntu. Ngequbuliso iindlela zam zalahlwa, kwaye andibaboni abahlobo bam kunye nosapho ukuze ndikhuseleke. Ubomi obungaqhelekanga buthe baba, ukuba bodwa kwakuyeyona ndlela ikhuselekileyo. Ndizamile ukwandisa ixesha endilichithileyo ndisebenzisa umthambo, ukukhulula uxinzelelo, kwaye bendigqiba i-yoga kusasa, ukuhamba imayile ezintathu kunye nenja yam emva kwemini, kwaye ubuncinci iyure enye ye-cardio emva komsebenzi. Kodwa ke, ndiziva ndiziva ndililolo, kwaye ndinexhala nangazo zonke i-endorphins endizithumela emzimbeni wam ngokwenza umthambo. Uninzi lwabahlobo bam baphulukana nemisebenzi, ngakumbi abo babesebenza kwindawo yeqonga. Umama wayesemsebenzini, utata wayesebenza kunye neeyure ezincitshisiweyo. Ndiqale ukutshatyalaliswa kwi-Facebook, ndizabalazela ukuzikhupha kubo bonke ububi besifo senoveli esaqala ukuba sezopolitiko ngendlela endingazange ndayibona. Ndijonge ukubalwa kwamatyala eColorado kunye nenqanaba lokufa qho kwiiyure ezimbini, ndisazi kakuhle ukuba urhulumente akazukuhlaziya amanani kude kube emva kwe-4: 00 ngokuhlwa nditshone, ndithe cwaka nakum. Ndangaphantsi kwamanzi, ndingazi ukuba ndenzele ntoni mna okanye nabani na ongomnye. Isandi esiqhelekileyo? Ndibheja abanye benu bafunda le nto inokunxibelelana nayo yonke into endiyibhalileyo. Yayiyinto yesizwe (kulungile, eyamazwe aphesheya) into yokuntywila kunkwantyo olwalukho ngexesha leenyanga ze-COVID-19, okanye njengoko sonke besisazi-unyaka we-2020.

Kwiveki yesibini ka-Epreli, ndaphinda ndathatha icuba. Ndaphoxeka ngeyona ndlela, kuba ndandineenyanga ezintandathu ndingatshayi. Ndandiwenzile umsebenzi; Ndawulwa umlo olungileyo. Andizange ndikholelwe ukuba ndibuthathaka. Ndatshaya kunjalo. Ndichithe iiveki ezimbini nditshaya njengokuba bendinjalo ngaphambili xa ndayeka kwakhona. Ndomelele kwaye ndahlala ndikhululekile ukutshaya kwada kwaphela iholide yosapho ngoJuni. Ndothuswe yindlela impembelelo yentlalontle eyayibonakala ingaphaya kwamandla am. Akukho mntu weza kum wathi, “Awutshayi? Usisiqhwala, kwaye awusapholi. ” Hayi, endaweni yoko abantu abatshayayo beli qela banokuzithethelela, kwaye ndishiyeke ndedwa ndicamngca ngeengcinga zam. Yayiyeyona nto ibalulekileyo, kodwa ndaye ndagqibela ngokutshaya kolo hambo. Ndatshaya kwakhona kolunye uhambo losapho ngoSeptemba. Ndazithethelela ngokwam ukuba bendikwiholide, kwaye imigaqo yokuziqeqesha ayisebenzi ekhefini. Ndiwele enqwelweni kwaye ndibuyele kwixesha elininzi ukusukela kwixesha elitsha le-COVID-19. Ndiye ndazibetha malunga nayo, ndaba namaphupha apho ndandikuloo mntu ndayeka ukutshaya iintengiso-ndithetha ngelixa ndigqume umqala wam, ndaye ndaqhubeka nokuzizalisa ngenzululwazi emva kokuba kutheni ukutshaya kuyingozi kwimpilo yam. Nangona konke oko, ndawa. Ndibuyele emgceni ndize ndikhubeke kwakhona.

Ngexesha le-COVID-19, ndivile ndiphindaphinda ukubonisa ubabalo lwam. Wonke umntu wenza konke okusemandleni akhe. ” Le ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo. ” Nangona kunjalo, xa kufikwa kuhambo lwam lokubeka phantsi umhlaza, ndinokufumana isaphulelo esincinanana sokungakhathali nokuzithoba kwengqondo yam. Ndicinga ukuba yinto entle leyo, njengoko ndifuna ukungatshayi ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na. Akukho sizathu sikhulu ngokwaneleyo sokuzityhefu ngendlela endenza ngayo xa ndithatha ukukhupha. Ukanti, ndisokola. Ndizabalaza, nkqu nangayo yonke ingqiqo kwicala lam. Ndiyacinga, nangona kunjalo, ukuba uninzi lwabantu luyasokola ngoku, ngento enye okanye enye. Iingcamango zesazisi, kunye nokuzinyamekela zibukeka zihluke kakhulu ngoku kunokuba zenze kunyaka odlulileyo xa ndiqala uhambo lwam lokuyeka umsi. Andindedwa - nawe awunguye! Kuya kufuneka siqhubeke sizama, kwaye siqhubeke siziqhelanisa, kwaye siyazi ukuba ubuncinci bezinto ebeziyinyani emva koko ziyinyani ngoku. Ukutshaya kuyingozi, umgca ophantsi. Ukuyeka ukutshaya luhambo lobomi bonke, umgca ophantsi. Kuya kufuneka ndiqhubeke ndilwa umlo olungileyo kwaye ndingazigxeki kakhulu kum xa ndiphumelela ngamanye amaxesha. Oko akuthethi ukuba ndoyisiwe emfazweni, idabi elinye kuphela. Singayenza le nto, mna nawe. Singaqhubeka, siqhubeke, nokuba kuthetha ntoni oko kuthi.

Ukuba ufuna uncedo ukuqala uhambo lwakho, tyelela coquitline.org okanye fowunela i-800-YEKA-NGOKU.