Rhoqo ngo-Okthobha ukusukela ngo-1985, iNyanga yoKwazisa ngoMhlaza wamabele isebenza njengesikhumbuzo soluntu ngokubaluleka kokufunyanwa kwangoko kunye nokhathalelo lothintelo, kunye nokuvuma inyambalala yezigulane zomhlaza wamabele, abasindileyo, kunye nabaphandi abenza umsebenzi obaluleke ngolo hlobo befuna unyango. isifo. Kum ngokwam, kungekhona nje ngo-Oktobha ukuba ndicinga ngesi sifo esibi. Bendicinga ngayo, ukuba akunjalo ngokungathanga ngqo, phantse yonke imihla ukusukela oko ndafowunelwa ngumama endimthandayo ngoJuni 2004 endichazela ukuba ufunyanisiwe. Ndisakhumbula kakuhle ukuba ndandimi phi ekhitshini lam xa ndisiva ezi ndaba. Iyamangalisa indlela iziganeko ezibuhlungu ezichaphazela ngayo iingqondo zethu kunye nenkumbulo yaloo mzuzu kunye nezinye ezalandelayo zisenokwenza impendulo enjalo yeemvakalelo. Ndandingaphezu kweenyanga ezintandathu ndikhulelwe umntwana wam ophakathi kwaye ukuya kuthi ga ngalo mzuzu kanye, andizange ndifumane ukwenzakala ebomini bam.

Emva komothuko wokuqala, unyaka olandelayo onesiqingatha lumfiliba nje kwinkumbulo yam. Ngokuqinisekileyo ... kwakukho amaxesha anzima aqikelelweyo okumxhasa kuhambo lwakhe: oogqirha, izibhedlele, iinkqubo, ukuchacha kotyando, njl. utatomkhulu yayiyeyona "gig igqwesileyo" awakhe waba nayo!), uhambo, iinkumbulo ezenziweyo. Kwakukho intsasa ethile ngelixa abazali bam babetyelele eDenver bezobona umzukulwana wabo omtsha xa umama wabonakala endlwini yam ekuseni, ehleka ngokukrakra. Ndambuza ukuba yintoni ehlekisayo, kwaye wabalisa ibali lakhe lokulahleka kweenwele ze-chemo ekhatywayo ngobusuku obudlulileyo kunye neenwele zakhe zawa ngamaqhekeza amakhulu esandleni sakhe. Uye wagigitheka ecinga malunga nokuba bacinge ntoni abagcini bendlu, njengoko beyibona yonke intloko yakhe emnyama, egobileyo yamaGrike/yamaTaliyane kwinkunkuma. Ayiqhelekanga into enokukwenza uhleke xa ujongene nentlungu engathethekiyo kunye nonxunguphalo.

Ekugqibeleni, umhlaza kamama wawunganyangeki. Waye wafunyaniswa enohlobo olunqabileyo olubizwa ngokuba ngumhlaza webele wokukrala, ongabhaqwanga yi-mammograms kwaye ngexesha lokubhaqa, uye waqhubela phambili ukuya kwinqanaba le-IV. Ushiye eli hlabathi ngoxolo ngosuku olufudumeleyo luka-Epreli ngo-2006 kwikhaya lakhe eRiverton, eWyoming kunye nam, umntakwethu, kunye notata wam xa wayephefumla okokugqibela.

Kwezo veki zimbalwa zidluleyo, ndikhumbula ndifuna ukutyhila nabuphi na ubulumko endandinabo, ndaza ndambuza ukuba uye wakwazi njani ukuhlala etshate notata kangangeminyaka engaphezu kwama-40. “Umtshato unzima,” ndatsho. "Wenze njani?" Eqhula wathi, emehlweni akhe amnyama kunye noncumo olubanzi, "Ndinomonde ogqithileyo!" Kwiiyure ezimbalwa kamva, wabonakala e serious waza wandicela ukuba ndihlale naye phantsi waza wathi “bendifuna ukukunika impendulo yokwenene ngendlela endahlala ngayo nditshatile notata wakho ixesha elide kangaka. Into yile ... Ndafika ekuqondeni kwiminyaka eyadlulayo ukuba ndingahamba xa izinto ziba nzima kwaye ndiqhubele phambili komnye umntu, kodwa ukuba ndiza kurhweba isethi yeengxaki kwenye. Kwaye ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiza kuhlala nale seti yeengxaki kwaye ndiqhubeke nokuzilungisa. ” Amazwi obulumko kumfazi ofayo kunye namazwi aguqule indlela endibona ngayo ubudlelwane bexesha elide. Esi sesinye isifundo sobomi endisifumene kumama endimthandayo. Omnye olungileyo? "Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuthandwa kukuba nobubele kuye wonke umntu." Wayeyikholelwa le…iphile le… kwaye yinto endihlala ndiyiphinda kubantwana bam. Uyaqhubeka uphila.

Akunabo bonke abafazi ababhekwa "kwingozi enkulu" yomhlaza wesifuba abakhetha le ndlela, kodwa kutshanje, ndigqibe ekubeni ndilandele iprotocol enobungozi obubandakanya i-mammogram enye kunye ne-ultrasound enye ngonyaka. Inokukubeka kwindawo encinci ye-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo, nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha nge-ultrasound, unokufumana iziphumo zobuxoki kwaye udinga i-biopsy. Oku kunokuba yi-nerve-racking ngelixa ulindele ukuqeshwa kwe-biopsy kwaye ngethemba, iziphumo ezibi. Ucelomngeni, kodwa ndithathe isigqibo sokuba le yeyona ndlela inengqiqo kum. Umama wayengenayo enye indlela. Wanikwa uxilongo olubi kwaye wahamba kuzo zonke izinto ezimbi kwaye ekugqibeleni, waphulukana nedabi lakhe kwisithuba esingaphantsi kweminyaka emibini. Andiyifuni loo mphumo kum okanye kubantwana bam. Ndikhetha indlela esebenzayo kunye nako konke okuza nayo. Ukuba ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndijongane nento umama ajongene nayo, ndifuna ukwazi kwangoko, kwaye ndiza kuyibetha le #@#4! kwaye ube nexesha elixabiseke ngakumbi…isipho umama akazange asinikwe. Ndingakhuthaza nabani na ofunda oku ukuba adibane nogqirha wakho ukuze afumanise ukuba le ndlela yokwenza inokuba nentsingiselo ngemvelaphi yakho / imbali kunye nenqanaba lomngcipheko. Ndaye ndadibana nomcebisi wemfuzo kwaye ndenza uvavanyo lwegazi olulula ukubona ukuba ndinomzila wemfuza womhlaza weentlobo ezingaphezu kwama-70 zomhlaza. Uvavanyo lwahlawulwa yi-inshurensi yam, ngoko ke ndikhuthaza abanye ukuba bajonge olo khetho.

Ndiye ndacinga ngomama wam yonke imihla ngaphezu kweminyaka eyi-16. Ubengezele isibane esiqaqambileyo ebengacimiyo engqondweni yam. Omnye wemibongo yakhe ayithandayo (wayengumfundi wesiNgesi owachachayo!) wabizwa Umzobo wokuqala, ngu-Edna St. Vincent Millay kwaye uya kuhlala undikhumbuza oko kukhanya:

Ikhandlela lam livutha kumacala omabini;
Ayiyi kuhlala ubusuku;
Kodwa oh, iintshaba zam, kwaye oh, bahlobo bam-
Inika ukukhanya okuthandekayo!