Inyanga Yokuqwashisa Ngokutholwa

Ngesikhathi ngisemncane, ngangibuka izinhlelo ze-TV ku-Disney noma ku-Nickelodeon futhi kwakuhlale okungenani kunesiqephu esisodwa lapho ingane yakini ikhohlisa enye ukuthi icabange ukuthi ithathwe njengezingane zokutholwa, okwenza ingane yakini eyagilwa imikhuba yacasuka. Lokhu kwakuhlale kungenza ngizibuze ukuthi kungani kunemibono eminingi kangaka engemihle mayelana nokutholwa ngoba ngangingeke ngijabule kakhulu! Ngikhule ngazi futhi ngizizwa nginothando futhi ngifunda kubazali bami njengoba kwenza abangani bami; umehluko nje ukuthi ngangingabukeki njengabazali bami njengabangane bami, kodwa lokho kwakulungile futhi!

Njengoba ngikhumbula izinkumbulo zami kusukela ebusheni bami, ngikhumbula izikhathi eziningi zokuhleka, uthando, nabazali bami njalo bebonisa ukungeseka kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani. Ayikho into eyake yazizwa ihlukile kuneminye imindeni. Saya eholidini ndawonye, ​​abazali bami bangifundisa ukuhamba, ukugibela ibhayisikili, ukushayela, nezinye izinto eziyisigidi - njengezinye izingane.

Lapho ngikhula, ngisho nanamuhla, ngivame ukubuzwa ukuthi ngizizwa kanjani ngokutholwa futhi iqiniso liwukuthi ngikuthanda ngokuphelele. Ngibonga kakhulu ngokuthi abazali bami [abangithole] bebekhona ukuze bangithathe njengosana futhi bangisize ngikhule ngithuthuke ngibe ngowesifazane enginguye namuhla. Ngingasho ngobuqotho ukuthi ngaphandle kokutholwa, angazi ukuthi ngangiyoba kuphi. Lapho abazali bami bengithatha, banginikeza ukuzinza nokungaguquguquki okwangivumela ukuba ngibe yingane ngempela futhi ngikhule futhi ngithuthuke ngezindlela okungenzeka ukuthi angizange ngizenze.

“Ukutholwa yisibopho ongena kuso ungaboni ngaso linye, kodwa akufani nokwengeza ingane ngokuzalwa. Kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bokutholwa bazibophezele ekukhuliseni le ngane impilo yabo yonke futhi bazibophezele ekubeni umzali ngaphansi kwezimo ezinzima.”

– Brooke Randolph

Ngicabanga ukuthi ingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu okufanele ucabange ngayo lapho ukhetha ukuthi uzotholwa yini noma cha iwukuba unamandla angokomzwelo nangokwezimali, okungehlukile kunokuhlela ukukhulelwa eyakho ingane yokuzalwa. Okusele kumane kudlula inqubo futhi ulungiselela ukukhulisa umndeni wakho. Nakuba kunokuningi okungaziwa ngokutholwa, ngicabanga ukuthi ucezu olubalulekile wukubona ukuthi sonke singabantu. Ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami, akudingekile ukuba ube “ephelele” umzali ube yisibonelo esihle enganeni yakho. Okusho ukuthi, inqobo nje uma uzama konke okusemandleni akho, yilokho kuphela ingane engakucela. Ukuba ngamabomu kungenza umehluko.

Nakuba umndeni ngokuvamile ungacatshangwa njengegazi, noma izihlobo ezenziwe ngomshado, ukutholwa kuletha umbono omusha wegama elithi “umndeni” njengoba kuvumela imibhangqwana, noma abantu ngabanye, ukukhulisa imikhaya yabo ngendlela “evamile” encane. Umndeni ungaba, futhi ungaphezu kwegazi; isibopho esidalekayo nesikhuthazwa phakathi kweqembu labantu. Uma ngicabanga leli gama manje, angicabangi nje ngezingane zakithi nabazali bami, ngiye ngabona ukuthi izixhumanisi zomndeni zikhulu kakhulu kunalokho engangikucabanga - kuyisibopho esiyinkimbinkimbi esingabandakanya izinto eziphilayo, kanye nezingezona zemvelo. , ubudlelwano. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​kwaze kwangikhuthaza ukuba ngicabangele ukutholwa ekusaseni lami, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngiyakwazi ukukhulelwa ngedwa noma cha, ngakho ngingakwazi ukwakha esami isakhiwo somndeni esiyingqayizivele.

Ngakho-ke, ngingakhuthaza noma ngubani ocabanga ukutholwa ukuthi adlule nakho. Yebo, kuzoba nemibuzo nokukhathazeka, kanye nezikhathi zokungaqiniseki kodwa lapho ungekho lapho wenza izinqumo ezinkulu zempilo?! Uma unamandla okuthatha ingane, noma izingane uzingenise emzini wakho, ungenza umehluko ngempela. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi kusukela ngo-2019, bekunezingane ezingaphezu kwe-120,000 ohlelweni ezilinde ukubekwa ekhaya lesikhashana (i-Statista, 2021) kuyilapho kuphela ama-2 kuya ku-4% abantu baseMelika athole ingane, noma izingane (Inethiwekhi Yokutholwa, 2020). Kunezingane eziningi ohlelweni ezidinga ithuba lokukhula futhi zithuthuke emndenini ozinzile futhi ongaguquki. Ukunikeza ingane indawo ekahle kungaba nomthelela ngempela ekukhuleni nasekuthuthukeni.

Ukuze uthole ulwazi olwengeziwe mayelana nendlela yokutholwa ungavakashela adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information lapho ungathola khona izikhungo zokutholwa endaweni yangakini futhi uthole ulwazi olwengeziwe mayelana nendlela yokusebenza ngenqubo yokuletha ingane entsha, noma izingane, emzini wakho! Uma udinga ukukhuthazwa okwengeziwe, ungavakashela futhi globalmunchkins.com/adoption/adoption-quotes/ ngezingcaphuno mayelana nokutholwa kanye nezinzuzo zokukhetha ukwamukela.

Izinsiza:

statista.com/statistics/255375/inani-lezingane-ezilinde-ukutholwa-in-the-united-states/

adoptionnetwork.com/adoption-myths-facts/domestic-us-statistics/

definitions.uslegal.com/t/transracial-adoption/

globalmunchkins.com/adoption/adoption-quotes/