Yiba I-Cycle Breaker: Abesifazane Abasekela Abanye Abesifazane
Amandla amakhulu okusekela anikezwa ngabanye. Okukhulu nakakhulu ukusekela okunengqondo okunikezwa yilabo abahamba noma abahamba ngendlela efanayo. Umlingo uyenzeka lapho abesifazane bephakamisa futhi behlomisa abanye abantu besifazane. Ngihleke kakhudlwana, ngadabuka kakhulu, ngakholelwa kimina, futhi ngakhula ngezindlela eziningi kunokuba ngikhumbule ngenxa yabesifazane abangenakubalwa abakhethe ukwabelana ngokukhanya kwabo, ukuhlakanipha, isipiliyoni, amakhono, umusa, kanye nokukhahlela okudingeka kakhulu ngezikhathi ezithile. esinqeni nami. Kubo bonke abesifazane abenze impilo yami yaba ngcono - NGIYABONGA!
Ngokudabukisayo, lolu hlobo lokusekelwa aluboniswa ngaso sonke isikhathi. “Abesifazane baxakile. Nakuba iningi lethu lifuna ukuba nomusa nokunakekela, silwa nohlangothi lwethu olumnyama - imizwa yomona, umona, nokuncintisana. Nakuba amadoda ejwayele ukuncintisana ngendlela esobala - ejahana ukuze athole isikhundla futhi alwele ukuthweswa umqhele 'abawinile' - abesifazane bavame ukuncintisana ngokucashile futhi ngaphandle kwenkundla. Lo mqhudelwano ocashile kanye nobudlova obungaqondile kuwumgogodla wokuziphatha okubi kwabesifazane emsebenzini.” (UKatherine Crowley noKathi Elster, ababhali ababambisene nabo Amantombazane Aqondile Emsebenzini: Ungahlala Kanjani Uchwepheshe Lapho Izinto Ziba Okomuntu Siqu)
Ukuthambekela kokuncintisana phakathi kwabesifazane kuhlehlela emuva emakhulwini eminyaka futhi kwandulela umjaho wokukhushulelwa esikhundleni noma impi yokuthandwa okwengeziwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Lolu cwaningo kukhombisa ukuthi abesifazane abazama ukubukela phansi impumelelo yomunye nomunye kungase kube ngenxa yomqondo wokuziphendukela kwemvelo wokuncintisana ngezinsiza ezilinganiselwe (okungukuthi, ukudla, indawo yokuhlala, abangane bomshado). Ngamanye amazwi, kuyindlela yokusinda. Engeza inhlobonhlobo yemilayezo ethi “wonke umuntu wesifazane azenzele yena” engase ingene ezingqondweni zabesifazane ngemikhuba yezenhlalo futhi sithole i-cocktail enobuthi ethi “Ngikusekela, ntombazane!” futhi “Ngethemba ngasese ukuthi awenzi kahle njengami”. Le ndlela yokucabanga ayigcini nje ngokuholela ekulimazeni abanye, futhi isivimbela ekufinyeleleni amandla ethu aphelele.
Uhambo lwempilo yawo wonke umuntu luhlukile futhi lugcwele izithiyo. Abanye izinselelo, nokho, iba nomthelela ongemuhle kwabesifazane emhlabeni jikelele. Kukhona amandla ngezinombolo. Pho-ke makhosikazi nithi senzeni isivumelwano khetha ukubusisa izimpilo zabanye abantu besifazane, ngezindlela ezinkulu nezincane? Ukwabelana engikuthole kuwusizo:
- Ukuqonda ukuthi angisiyo imicabango yami. Lapho kuvela umcabango onomona noma womona ngomunye wesifazane, ngiyawuphawula bese ngikhetha ukuziphatha ngendlela enomusa, esekelayo. Ngizama ukungavumeli umcabango ukuthi ulawule izenzo zami kodwa ngiwuphathe njengophawu lokuthi kukhona okuthile okufanele ngikuhlole ngaphakathi kimina (okungukuthi, ukungazethembi okufihliwe noma isidingo esingahlangabeziwe).
- Ukwamukela amandla ami futhi ukuhlakulela ukuzithanda. Lapho ngivikeleka kakhulu, ngiba nethemba ngokwengeziwe emakhonweni ami okufinyelela imigomo yami nokudala ukuphila engikufisayo, kuyancipha ukuthambekela kokuncintisana okungenampilo.
- Encike ku- ingqondo eningi. Kunenqwaba yemiqhele okufanele izungezwe. Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye nesikhombisa ami akholelwa ngempela lokho (okwathatha umsebenzi!). Bese kuba namaphesenti amathathu asele asagxile emcabangweni wokushoda – ukukhula ebuphofini “kusizile” ngempela kulokhu.
- Isenzo esincane somusa singenza umthelela omkhulu. Akungibizanga lutho ukuncoma owesifazane omi kulayini wokukhokha phambi kwami. Ukusabela kowesifazane owayezidlela yedwa etafuleni eliseduze kwami lapho ngimkhokhela ngasese ukudla kwakusihlwa kwakuyigugu. Ithumela okuthi “Uthole lokhu!” umbhalo oya kumngane wentombazane onovalo ukunikeza isethulo kuthathe imizuzwana embalwa.
- Ukuvuma ukungavumelani. Uncamela ubisi lwe-cashew ekhofini lakho kunobisi lwe-alimondi? Okusanhlamvu kwesidlo sakusihlwa? Ukuvutha phezu kwe-skinny jeans? Noma yini ekusebenzelayo! Uma ukungezwani kuphazamisa ukuxhumana kwangempela nokuhloniphana, ngincika ekufuneni ukwazi futhi ngimise ukwahlulela kokukhetha kwabanye besifazane ngemizimba yabo, imisebenzi, isitayela somzali, njll.
- Ukusiza abanye besifazane ukuthi bafinyelele izinhloso zabo futhi bagubhe impumelelo. Lokhu akusho ukunciphisa izimpumelelo zakho noma ukunganaki imigomo yakho - phakamisa njengoba ukhuphuka futhi wabelane ngokugqamayo. “Uma “usuwenzile,” ungabhuquzi ungahlosile abanye abantu besifazane ngokubafaka ezinseleleni obhekane nazo ngesikhathi somsebenzi wakho. Buyisela ikheshi phansi!” Umeluleki, umqeqeshi, ummeli.
- Ukweseka amabhizinisi aphethwe ngabesifazane noma aqhutshwayo. Ingabe ufuna okuthile ongakwenza kule mpelasonto noma isipho somzuzu wokugcina? Hlola okukodwa noma ngaphezulu kwalokhu:
- Ukunikeza ukwesekwa okunengqondo. “Ngingaba kanjani wusizo kuwe namuhla?” Esikhundleni sokweseka abanye abantu besifazane ngendlela engingathanda ukwesekwa ngayo kunoma yisiphi isimo, ngithola ukuthi yini they empeleni kudingeka.
Uzokwenzenjani nqamula umjikelezo wokuqhudelana phakathi kwabesifazane?