Usizi Nempilo Yengqondo

Ubaba wendodana yami wadlula emhlabeni kungalindelekile eminyakeni emine edlule; wayeneminyaka engama-33 ubudala futhi kwatholakala ukuthi une-post-traumatic stress disorder, ukukhathazeka nokudangala unyaka ngaphambi kwalokho. Ngesikhathi sokushona kwakhe indodana yami yayineminyaka eyisithupha ubudala, futhi yimina okwakufanele ngiphule inhliziyo yakhe ngezindaba ngenkathi eyami isaphuka amandla ngibona ubuhlungu bayo.

Imbangela yokufa yahlala ingaziwa izinyanga ezimbalwa. Inombolo yemiyalezo nemibuzo engiyithole kubantu engingabazi ngokufa kwakhe ibingabaliwe. Iningi lalicabanga ukuthi uzibulele. Umuntu oyedwa ungitshele ukuthi bafuna ngempela ukwazi imbangela yokufa kwakhe ngoba kuzobanikeza ukuvalwa. Ngaleso sikhathi ngangisesigabeni sentukuthelo yosizi futhi ngatshela lowo muntu ukuthi ukuvalwa kwabo akusho lutho kimi njengoba nganginendodana engangizikhulisela yona ngedwa eyayingasoze yavalwa. Ngangithukuthelele wonke umuntu ngokucabanga ukuthi ukulahlekelwa kwakhe kwakukhulu kunokwendodana yami. Kwakungobani ababengacabanga ukuthi banendawo empilweni kaJim kanti iningi labo lalingakhulumanga naye eminyakeni edlule! Ngangithukuthele.

Ekhanda lami, ukufa kwakhe kwenzeke kithi futhi akekho noyedwa owayekwazi ukuqonda ubuhlungu bethu. Ngaphandle, bangakwazi. Imindeni yama-veteran nalabo abalahlekelwe othandekayo ngezizathu ezingaziwa bazi kahle ukuthi ngangibhekene nani. Kithina, imindeni nabangane bamakadebona abethunyelwe. Amasosha atshaliwe abhekana nokuhlukumezeka okuphezulu lapho ethunyelwa ezindaweni zempi. UJim wayese-Afghanistan iminyaka emine.

U-Alan Bernhardt (2009) kuRising to the Challenge of Treating OEF / OIF Veterans with Co - occurring PTSD and Substance Abuse, Smith College Studies In Social Work, uthola ukuthi ngokocwaningo oluthile (Hoge et al., 2004), iphesenti eliphezulu yamasosha aseMasotini naseMarine akhonza e-Iraq nase-Afghanistan ahlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka okukhulu kwempi. Isibonelo, ama-95% amaMarines kanye nama-89% amasosha e-Iraq asebenza e-Iraq ahlangabezane nokuhlaselwa noma ukuhlaselwa, kanti ama-58% amasosha e-Army akhonza e-Afghanistan azibonele lokhu. Amaphesenti aphezulu ala maqembu amathathu abuye abhekana nezikhali ezingenayo, i-rocket, noma umlilo (92%, 86%, no-84%, ngokulandelana), wabona izidumbu noma izidumbu zabantu (94%, 95%, no-39%, ngokulandelana), noma wazi ukuthi othile ulimale kabi noma wabulawa (87%, 86%, no-43%, ngokulandelana). UJim ufakiwe kulezi zibalo, yize ebefuna ukwelashwa ezinyangeni ezandulela ukushona kwakhe kungenzeka ukuthi sekwephuze kakhulu.

Lapho nje imiphumela yomngcwabo ixazulule uthuli lwayo, futhi ngemuva kokubhikisha okukhulu, mina nendodana yami sahlala nabazali bami. Ngonyaka wokuqala, lolu hambo lwaba ithuluzi lethu elikhulu lokuxhumana. Indodana yami esihlalweni esingemuva nezinwele zayo zitshekile emuva futhi iso elisha laliyovula inhliziyo yalo likhulume ngemizwa yalo. Ngibona amazwibela kababa wakhe ngamehlo akhe nangendlela achaza ngayo imizwa yakhe, nohlangothi olushunqayo luyamamatheka. UJames wayevele athulule inhliziyo yakhe lapho kuphithizela izimoto ku-Interstate 270. Ngangibamba isondo lami lokushayela ngibambe izinyembezi.

Abantu abaningi baphakamise ukuthi ngimyise ekwelulekeni, ukuthi ukufa okungazelelwe kukababa wakhe ongumakadebona kuzoba yinto ingane engazabalaza ngayo. Ababengamaqabane ezempi basikisela ukuthi sijoyine amaqembu abameli kanye nokuhlehla ezweni lonke. Bengifuna nje ukuthi ngifike ngesikhathi ngesikhathi sebheli lakhe lesikole ngo-8: 45 bese ngiya emsebenzini. Ngangifuna ukuhlala ngivamile ngangokunokwenzeka. Kithina, okujwayelekile bekuya esikoleni futhi sisebenze nsuku zonke kanye nomsebenzi omnandi ngezimpelasonto. UJames ngamgcina esikoleni afunda kuso; wayesenkulisa ngesikhathi kushona ubaba wakhe futhi ngangingafuni ukwenza izinguquko eziningi kakhulu. Besivele singene endlini ehlukile futhi lokho bekungumzabalazo omkhulu kuye. Ngokuphazima kweso uJames wayenganakwa yimi kuphela kodwa, nogogo nomkhulu wakhe kanye no-anti wakhe.

Umndeni wami nabangane baba uhlelo olukhulu lokusekela. Ngangithemba ukuthi umama wami uzothatha izintambo noma kunini lapho ngizizwa ngicindezelwe yimizwa noma ngidinga ukuphumula. Izinsuku ezazinzima kakhulu kwakuyilapho indodana yami eyayiziphethe kahle yayiba nokushayisana ngokuthi izodlani noma igeze nini. Ngezinye izinsuku wayevuka ekuseni akhale ngamaphupho ngobaba wakhe. Ngalezo zinsuku ngangifaka ubuso bami obunesibindi, ngithathe usuku lwami emsebenzini nasesikoleni bese ngichitha usuku ngikhuluma naye futhi ngimduduza. Ngolunye usuku, ngazithola ngizivalele egumbini lami ngikhala ngaphezu kwanoma yisiphi esinye isikhathi empilweni yami. Bese kuthi, kube nezinsuku lapho bengingakwazi ukuvuka embhedeni ngoba ukukhathazeka kwami ​​kungitshele uma ngiphuma emnyango ngingafa bese kuthi indodana yami ibe nabazali ababili abashonile. Ingubo esindayo yokucindezeleka yayimboze umzimba wami futhi isisindo somthwalo wemfanelo sangiphakamisa ngasikhathi sinye. Ngiphethe itiye elishisayo umama wangikhipha embhedeni, futhi ngangazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokufinyelela kochwepheshe futhi ngiqale ukuphulukisa usizi.

Ngiyabonga ngokusebenza endaweni enozwelo, nephephile lapho ngingakwazi khona ukukhuluma nozakwethu ngempilo yami. Ngolunye usuku ngesikhathi sokudla kwasemini futhi sifunde umsebenzi, sazungeza itafula futhi sabelana ngamava amaningi empilo. Ngemuva kokuhlanganyela okwami, abantu abambalwa beza kimi ngemuva kwalokho baphakamisa ukuthi ngithinte uHlelo lwethu Lokusiza Abasebenzi. Lolu hlelo lwalungukukhanya okuqondisayo engangikudinga ukudlula. Banikeze mina nendodana yami izikhathi zokwelashwa ezasisiza ukuthi sakhe amathuluzi okuxhumana okusisiza ekubhekaneni nosizi nokunakekela impilo yethu yengqondo.

Uma wena, osebenza naye, noma othandekayo ubhekene nezikhathi ezinzima ngezinkinga zempilo yengqondo, finyelela isandla, ukhulume. Kukhona njalo umuntu ozimisele ukukusiza ngayo.