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Funda kabanzi lapha

Ukwakha Umndeni Wokutholwa

By USarah W.

Bese kuba ezinhlanu.

Ekuqaleni kukaFebhuwari, mina nomyeni wami saba nomntwana. Isizathu esenza sibe wumndeni wezingane ezinhlanu ukuthi unabanye abafana ababili abangabafana bami, abaneminyaka engu-7 no-9 ubudala. Yizingane zami zebhonasi, lezi ezingenze ngazizwa njengomzali. Sinenhlanhla ngokuba nabafana abathathu manje; siwumndeni wokutholwa ogcwele uthando.

Ngike ngabhala mayelana okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​ekubeni yingxenye yomkhaya wokutholwa, kokubili njengendodakazi yokutholwa nomama ongamzali, kodwa izinto zathuthuka ngokuqhubekayo ngokungezwa kuka-Lucas ngo-February 4, 2023. Izingane zami zokutholwa manje sezinomfowethu ngomzali oyedwa. Amandla ashintshile, kodwa uthando lwami ngezingane zami zokutholwa alushintshile. Ngangikhathazekile ngokuthi bangase bacabange ukuthi ngiyayithanda ingane entsha ngoba “ingami,” kodwa empeleni, ngizizwa ngisondelene nezingane zami zokutholwa kunangaphambi kokuba uLucas azalwe. Manje sesixhunywe ndawonye ngegazi ngoLucas futhi siwumndeni kunanini ngaphambili. Futhi ngokweqiniso, bayohlala beyizingane zokuqala enhliziyweni yami. Bangenza “umama,” ngoba ngabanakekela njengomama iminyaka eminingi ngaphambi kukaLucas, futhi bangenza ngiqonde uthando phakathi komnakekeli nengane. Bazoba nendawo ekhethekile enhliziyweni yami ngoba sakhetha ukuthandana nokuba nobudlelwano obuseduze. Kwakungeyona nje into abazalelwa kuyo. Bekubalulekile kimina ukuthi bazi ukuthi nakuba ingane entsha ifuna ukunakwa kakhulu, akusho ukuthi ayibalulekile kimina. Indodana yami yokutholwa endala, u-Zach, ichitha isikhathi icwaninga ngezinyathelo ezibalulekile nentuthuko yezingane; uyakhathazeka lapho umfowabo omncane ekhala futhi ezama ukuthola ukuthi kungani ecasukile; uthanda ukukhetha ingubo egqokwa nguLucas ekuseni futhi amdlale izingoma ezipholile ku-YouTube ukuze azame ukumlalisa. Indodana yami yokutholwa, uKyle, yayingenasithakazelo kangako kumfowabo omusha ekuqaleni. Kunzima ukuthi uvele ube ingane ephakathi uma uthanda ukunakwa futhi ujwayele ukuba yingane. Kodwa phakathi nezinyanga ezimbalwa ezedlule, uye waqala ukuba nesithakazelo, ecela ukusunduza isinqola sakhe, futhi ethi muhle kangakanani umntwana. Umoyizela ekamelweni kumfowabo omncane lapho eza nathi lapho uKyle efunda i-jiu-jitsu noma izifundo zokubhukuda. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi kuhlale kunemizwa exubile yezingane lapho ingane entsha ingena esithombeni, ngakho-ke ngingaqonda ukuthi akekho yini phakathi kwabo ozizwa eqiniseka ngokweqile ngokuba naye eduze, kodwa kuyamangaza ukubabona bejabule kakhulu ukuba naye njengengxenye umndeni.

Unjani umndeni wami wokutholwa. Ngihileleke kahle ezimpilweni zezingane zami zokutholwa; Ngibanakekela njengoba kwenza umzali. Bengilokhu ngiqinile kumyeni wami mayelana nokwabelana naye imithwalo yemfanelo yobuzali lapho besekhaya (okuyizikhathi ezingama-50%). Ngiza nabo esikoleni, ngenze ukudla kwasemini, ngibalalise ebusuku, futhi ngize ngibakhuze lapho kudingekile - ngikanye nomyeni wami, ongubaba omangalisayo wabo bobathathu abafana futhi omatasa kakhulu ekunakekeleni bonke. Bekubalulekile kimina ukuthi sonke sibe umndeni. Yileyo ndlela kuphela engangingacabanga ngayo ngiwusingamama. Kodwa ngiye ngafunda kunezindlela eziningi ezihlukene zokuba ngumama wokutholwa, futhi ayikho neyodwa yazo enephutha. Konke kumayelana nokuthi yini ekusebenzelayo ohambweni lwakho, futhi kungaba nzima ukuzulazula. Kuthatha isikhathi ukuthola indima yakho njengosingamzali nasemkhayeni wokutholwa. Izibalo engizizwile ukuthi kuthatha iminyaka eyisikhombisa ukuhlanganisa umndeni ngokweqiniso. Ngisonyakeni wesithathu kuphela, ngiqhubeka kwesine njengamanje, kodwa kakade izinto sezikhululeke kakhulu, kulula, futhi zijabule kakhulu.

KUNEZINTO eziningi ezihlukahlukene ongazifunda ngemikhaya yokutholwa. Lapho ngiqala ukuhlala nomyeni wami manje kanye nezingane zami zokutholwa, ngangisanquma ukuthi ngingangena kanjani ku-dynamic, futhi ngafunda izihloko eziningi namabhulogi. Ngiphinde ngajoyina amaqembu ambalwa e-Facebook omama abangabazali lapho abantu babelane ngezinkinga ababebhekene nazo futhi bacele iseluleko. Ngathola ukuthi kunomhlaba wonke wama-akhronimi ahlotshaniswa nemindeni yokutholwa. Ngokwesibonelo:

  • BM = umama wemvelo (umama we-bio)
  • SK, SS, SD = ingane yokutholwa, indodakazi yokutholwa
  • DH = umyeni othandekayo
  • I-EOWE = zonke ezinye isivumelwano sokugcina ngempelasonto

Enye into enkulu engiyibone kukhulunywa ngayo kwakungu-NACHO, okusho ukuthi “izingane ze-nacho, inkinga ye-nacho,” noma “i-nacho circus, nezinkawu.” Omama bokutholwa ku-inthanethi bavame ukukhuluma nge-“NACHOing,” okusho ukungahlanganyeli endimeni yobuzali nezingane zabo zokutholwa. Lokhu kungabukeka njengezinto eziningi futhi kunezizathu eziningi ezenza abantu bakhethe le ndlela, ehluke kakhulu kule engiyikhethile. Kwabanye, izingane zabo zokutholwa zingabantu abasha noma ngaphezulu. Kwabanye kungenxa yokuthi umama ozala izingane akafuni “ukuweqa” nomama wezingane zakhe. Kwabanye, kungenxa yokuthi izingane zabo zokutholwa azibamukeli endimeni yobuzali. Ngaba nenhlanhla ngoba akukho kulokhu okwasebenza kimina, kodwa kuyaqondakala ukuthi abanye omama abangabazali kufanele babambe iqhaza ezimpilweni zezingane zabo zokutholwa okuwumsebenzi wangemuva. Futhi kuyabasebenzela. Abanye bafana nomngane omkhulu noma u-anti opholile wezingane zabo zokutholwa. Benza izinto nabo futhi bayabathanda kodwa abazami ukuba umzali noma ukubalaya nhlobo, lokho bakuyekela kubazali abazalayo.

Nakuba ngamukela ukuthi zonke izindlela zokuba usingamzali ziyasebenza, ngithole ukuthi akubona bonke abanomqondo ovulekile kuyi-Internet. Lapho ngibhala esithangamini esichaza isimo sasekhaya futhi ngifuna iseluleko, ngathola ukwahlulelwa kumyeni wami kanye nami ngokubandakanyeka kwami ​​nezingane zami zokutholwa! Ngabuzwa ukuthi kungani ngenzela izingane zami zokutholwa uma umyeni wami ekhona nokuthi kungani ekhona making ngiphathe izingane futhi ngingazibambeli. Anginakho ukwahlulela kwabanye abakhetha ukungasebenzisi izandla uma lokho kusebenzela imindeni yabo futhi kubenza bakhululeke noma bajabule. Kodwa, ngithemba futhi ngilindele okufanayo kwabanye ekukhetheni kwami ​​ukuthi ngizosebenza kakhulu.

Iseluleko sami kunoma ngubani osohlelweni lokuhlanganisa umndeni ukuthi enze lokho okukusebenzela kangcono. Ayikho indlela elungile nengalungile yokuba umndeni wokutholwa, inqobo nje uma izingane zisathandwa futhi zinakekelwa, futhi wonke umuntu ukhululekile kulesi simo. Ukufunda izihloko noma uchungechunge ku-inthanethi ngezinye izikhathi kungaba usizo, kodwa futhi, kuthathe nohlamvu lukasawoti ngoba izinto eziningi ziyangqubuzana, futhi labo bantu abasazi isimo sakho. Ngingathi futhi kuwufanele! Angikwazi ukuyichaza intokozo yokubona ingane yami yomfana iqatshulwa obhuti bayo abadala noma ngibuka ubuso bayo buchachamba lapho uLucas emoyizela.