National Depression Education and Awareness Month
In November 2022, my then-11-year-old son, Lucas, confided in me that he had been having thoughts of hurting himself and even ending his life. He described vivid images of stabbing himself, which we later learned was called harm OCD—a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder where distressing thoughts persist. However, the person desperately wishes they would stop. For Lucas, it was more than just the OCD. He was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety, feeling so hopeless that he expressed not wanting to “be around” anymore. As terrifying as that moment was as a parent, looking back, it wasn’t entirely surprising. As a young child, Lucas could only be described as “joyful,” but things began to shift around first grade when he struggled in school and showed signs of anxiety, which is often depression’s trusty “sidekick.” My husband, too, has battled chronic depression and anxiety, though he didn’t fully recognize the impact of it until his 30s. It’s not uncommon for depression to run in families, so we were aware Lucas might face similar challenges.
Lucas is far from alone. Depression is much more common than people think. Over 264 million people worldwide are affected, with 21 million adults in the U.S. experiencing a major depressive episode each year. Depression doesn’t discriminate based on age. Teens deal with academic pressures, adults cope with burnout and stress, and older adults may feel isolated or experience health issues. No matter your age, recognizing the signs of depression early is key.
For me, being open about Lucas’ diagnosis was an important step toward breaking the stigma. When I found the courage to share our story, I realized how many others had been through something similar—and they were incredibly supportive (though I may have accidentally “overshared” at a couple of swim meets or parties). Still, it felt important to let others know that everything wasn’t all “rainbows and butterflies” and that it wasn’t because of anything we did as parents.
I believe we’re still up against a real stigma. If your child has a physical illness, like diabetes, there’s no hesitation in sharing that information. But when it’s a mental health struggle? We often clam up. I regularly remind Lucas that his depression and anxiety are no different from the type 1 diabetes I was diagnosed with as a kid. It’s something he was born with, and he’ll need to learn how to manage it throughout his life, without making it an excuse for “bad behavior.” This can be a tough balance to strike.
Depression can show up in a lot of ways—emotionally, it can mean feeling sad, hopeless, or irritable. Physically, it can make you tired, mess with your sleep and appetite, or cause random aches and pains. These symptoms can mimic other things, which is why depression is often hard to spot. But if these feelings last for more than two weeks, it’s time to ask for help.
There are still so many myths about depression—that it’s just sadness, that people can “snap out of it,” or that it’s a sign of weakness. None of that is true. Depression is a legitimate illness that often requires professional treatment, and it can affect anyone, even kids like Lucas. In fact, a lot of people with depression are high-functioning, making it even harder to notice from the outside. That’s why open conversations about mental health are essential. Talking about it doesn’t hurt—it can be the first step toward healing.
Seeking help is crucial. I’ve seen firsthand how therapy and the right treatment can change lives. For Lucas, a mix of therapy, medication managed by his psychiatrist, and support from his school has allowed him to thrive. If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is out there—you don’t have to face this alone. I encourage you to take action: check in on a loved one, learn more about depression, or share your story to reduce the stigma. Together, we can create a world where seeking help is seen as a strength, and no one has to suffer in silence.
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